Stalking Liberty, Are you ready for a party to raising awareness?

Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?...

Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

These last couple of weeks have been a little crazy because the book, Stalking Liberty is finished and now there is the wonderful point of releasing it out to the world. I thought long and hard about how to do this because when I launched A Broken Ring I had a lot of ideas and ways of doing… but… Hurricane Sandy came along… Not much of anything happened after that! Everyone was too busy cleaning up homes for anything else.

This time I’m trying to raise awareness for people are or have had a stalker or been involved in Domestic violence and abuse. I asked several charities and organizations if they would like to be included in the Resources List in the book. I had a wonderful response!

Now my idea is to hold a Stalking Liberty Book Launch Party in NYC! I would love to be able to fund it myself but we are still recovering from Sandy financially so I came up with the idea of sponsorship. This way it advertises those businesses who support the work of raising awareness. A win-win scenario all round. It’s going to be amazing, food, drink and a raffle too with the proceeds going to the organizations in the Resources List and I’ve already had donations for it! Including a grand prize valued over $5,000! to be held at Stitch in New York on the 20th May, 2014, close to Penn Station… Only 4 blocks away!

Now I don’t normally ask for help with anything but this time I am. If you know of anyone or business who would like to be involved please let me know, even on the smallest level because I have a brilliant Event and PR lady, Bridget Hanretta O’Brien working with me.

Stitch NYC

Stitch NYC

Here is the Sponsorship Letter:

“We are proud to offer you a wonderful opportunity to sponsor the Book Launch Party for Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?… by Claire Cappetta at Stitch, 247, West 37th St, NYC, to be held on the 20th May 2014 at 7pm.

Some of the biggest names from the world of Domestic Violence, Abuse charities and organizations such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network), Dennis Golden of IM-Safe, Stop the Abuse Campaign, Theresa McIntosh a former NYC Mayoral Appointee, who has endorsed the back cover of the book, have been confirmed for this event.

We are hosting this event which is expected to be full as we raise awareness against domestic violence which sadly effects:
1 in 6 women every year.
1 in 3 women are a victim of homicide, murdered by her current or former partner.
1 in 4 men suffer from domestic violence from women.
Women aged 15-44 are more at risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, car accidents, war and malaria, according to World Bank data.

We believe because of the publicity organized by Bridget Hanretta O’Brien, an amazing PR and event organizer based in New York City, that not too many people would miss such an event! There will be a red carpet, a step and repeat banner for photos and branding, book signings by Claire Cappetta. There will also be food and an open bar! A Raffle event, the funds raised will be donated to the charities and organizations who are in the Resources List in the book including: RAINN, the largest domestic violence network in the US, Stop the Abuse, Campaign, IM-Safe Forum, See the Triumph, National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, Pennsylvania Coalition of Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis, which is the largest in England and Wales

I am launching the book, Stalking Liberty to raise awareness, letting people know they are not alone. It is based on the true story of myself, Claire Cappetta as an author from the UK, I experienced rape, domestic violence, held hostage from a stalker, to a journey of empowerment in New York. Stalking Liberty is receiving amazing reviews:
“The storyline was more complex with the added element of suspense.
For survivors and anyone who helps them — essential powerful reading, recovery and how perpetrators fight to get away with it.”
Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day, in this groundbreaking book.
Domestic abuse is in the papers every day. Maybe this book will give women the courage to leave their abusers and help us to better understand this growing problem. What an amazing story about a damaged, abuse and waiting to exhale.”
Theresa A. H. McIntosh Former Mayoral appointee, representing the voice of the victims, Mayors-office to combat Domestic Violence

I believe that this Book Launch Party will make a huge impact and your sponsorship would help us make the event a sure-fire success and bring about the awareness which is needed.

We expect a total funding of $8,000 of which we hope you will be contributing to this worthy cause. The more you can fund, the more we can market your name and help those who desperately need it.

Listed below are the levels of our needed sponsorship for this event.

Emerald $3,500.00
Complimentary SOLO exhibit tabletop in venue.
Mention by host at event.
LARGE company logo on promotional material.
VIP company table at event.
Company Logo on ALL promotional material, as schedule permits.
The sponsor shall provide an electronic copy of appropriate logo.
Included in all the Media Press Kits.
Signed copy of A Broken Ring ~ A Woman’s Journey from Abuse to Empowerment and Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

Diamond $2,500.00
Complimentary spot at exhibit tabletop in venue.
Mention by host at event.
Medium company logo on promotional material.
VIP company table at event.
Signed copy of A Broken Ring ~ A Woman’s Journey from Abuse to Empowerment and Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

Sapphire $1,500.00
Complimentary spot at exhibit tabletop in venue
Medium company logo on promotional material
Signed copy of A Broken Ring ~ A Woman’s Journey from Abuse to Empowerment and Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

Ruby $500
Company name and/or logo displayed on:
Printed materials, as schedule permits (small size)
Registration area.
Signs at appropriate shows or events provided by sponsor.
Signed copy of A Broken Ring ~ A Woman’s Journey from Abuse to Empowerment and Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

Please visit these links for further information about the author:
Author: wwwclairecappetta.com
Venue:www.stitchnyc.com

Please join us by sponsoring this event. We will look forward to your reply by the 11th April, 2014.

Yours Sincerely,

Claire Cappetta,
Author of A Broken Ring ~ A Woman’s Journey from Abuse to Empowerment
and
Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…”

What do you think?

Are you up to this?

Are you on board to help raise awareness in May?

Do you want to be involved?

Do you want to come, have an awesome evening meeting some amazing people?

 

Motivational hero, Theresa McIntosh Supports Stalking Liberty

Theresa McIntoshToday I received an email from Theresa McIntosh of Barrier Free Living in NYC. I was ecstatic to read it, nearly bringing tears to my eyes!

Let me explain… I met Theresa at the Shatter the Silence Tour in Harlem, NYC this past September. She is an amazing woman working as an advocate with Domestic Violence survivors through Barrier Free Living based in New York. Originally from Newcastle, England, she came to new York to make a new life, which she has done brilliantly and eloquently.

Sadly, Theresa was hurt through a traffic accident, but that hasn’t stooped her from moving onwards and upwards. Highly, motivated, a strong leader and a hero to those of us who are lucky to meet her and become a friend. Basically and succinctly put… She is freaking awesome! For this, I thank Connie Lee founder of FACSA Foundation who invited me to the Shatter the Silence Tour.

So, getting back to my email… I emailed Theresa a little while ago asking her if she would like to offer an endorsement for my second book, Stalking Liberty. She kindly agreed. Once I finished it, I emailed a copy over to her for review… And waited with baited breath!

Now, today Theresa wrote back… The title of the email, Review.

Hi Claire WOW!!!!!!!!!!
 
The storyline was more complex with the added element of suspense.
For survivors and anyone who helps them — essential powerful reading, recovery and how perpetrators fight to get away with it.”
Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day.controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book.
 
Domestic abuse is in the papers every day. Maybe this book will give women the courage to leave their abusers and help us to better understand this growing problem. What an amazing story about a damage, abuse and waiting to exhale,
Thank you for sharing . Your English Friend Theresa.
Whoop! Can you believe that!? And no… I didn’t add all those !!! They are all Theresa’s (Giggles)
This is her endorsement for my book in the next email:
‘This is my endorsement of your book can’t wait for the next one’
“Have you ever gone out with someone who seemed perfect at first, but ended up being a nightmare? Do you find yourself falling in love but ending up feeling disrespected and used? Would you like to make sure that something like that never happens to you (or someone you care about) again? If so, this book is written for you.

This is a useful, down-to-earth, practical guide to avoiding a bad relationship instead of recovering from one. Read it, – it just may change your life! survivors of domestic abuse and their children
This is , down-to-earth, practical,  avoiding a bad relationship instead of recovering from one Read it – it just may change your life!

For this I want to say a huge THANK YOU!!!!!!
So today I’m feeling humbled, blessed and completely over whelmed by such amazing support from colleagues who I admire and respect with all my heart. No greater gift could have possibly been imagined for Stalking Liberty!
Here’s to raising awareness and support for all those survivors and soon to be survivors of abuse, violence and stalking!
 

Stalking Liberty is completed, finished and done!

Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?...

Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe?…

Finally Stalking Liberty ~ Are you safe? is finished, completed and done!

I was talking to a friend a while ago, she asked when I was looking to get out it into the big wide open world. My answer was a lot of Hums and Ahs. There has been so much going on it hard to actually knuckle down and finish those last chapters… Or maybe because the last ones were really tough to write… To bring back such painful memories. I had to step out of myself completely, take a deep breath and just write them. I have been raped, held hostage, looked down a barrel of a gun on more than one occasion… But this! This took a lot of courage to re-visit!

I asked a few of my friends and followers this question too before I really completed it, “I have three endings to this second book… One is a: happy one, well… Enough to say Well done, Lydia!. The second is a: “Meh” okay… Well there is another coming but to end it with that? meh… ending… The third could only be described as a “WTF!” Come on, guys. You know me by now with my vents against abuse there are times when holding back is not an option in my world! (Giggles)

After talking to my friends, who are also survivors of stalking and domestic violence, they told me to end with the third and last option. So “WTF!” it is. I contacted my friend “Ellie” as she is called in the book and told her. Her answer? “That’s what bloody happened, girl! Write it!” My another close friend, Julie said that if I didn’t end the second book this way then I would be letting down all survivors of abuse by not being real and authentic. I dug in, stomped my feet, cried and completed!

I launched out some copies into the big wide open world, waiting with baited breath as to the reaction to the ending. I asked them if I sent them a copy, could they please do a review for Amazon when it’s released. The feedback is getting interesting to say the least! As ‘Ellie’ and I said… “We don’t live in Kansas and if we did our red heels would be completely worn out now!”

All there is to do now is organize a Book Launch Party… You coming? It’ll be in NYC in May?

And the press releases and advertise and help raise awareness against stalking…And.. And… Better go and add to that list!

Have a great day! I hope you like how the cover came out in the end! Rather pink, somewhat!

Here’s a sneeky peek for you, the first chapter of Stalking Liberty.

First Chapter ~ Stalking Liberty

 

Inspiration and empowerment, spreading awareness on a wrist

After some hard work I finally have my web store up and running! I had an idea to sell bracelets last year, each one individual and unique, not mass produced.

I have worked each one with an inspiring charm to give a subtle message but also each one carries a Tibetan silver charm with the word “Hope” engraved and inscribed into it.  One bracelet says Follow your heart” another Shine Bright” to raise inspiration, empowerment and inner strength!

Each one is made of beautiful small silver glass beads and they fit all sizes too! : )

All the profits made from these bracelets will be going towards raising awareness of abuse… Of course

I really hope you like them. : )

You can either go to my website for more details: www.clairecappetta.com or click on the pictures below to go to the store.

Follow Your Heart Bracelet

Follow Your Heart Bracelet

Beautiful Awareness Bracelet
Handcrafted to empower, inspire and show strength to ~
Just follow your heart.
Made with glass beads which reflect purple in the light to highlight silver glass beads. Two silver Tibetan charms, one with Hope engraved and imprinted into it. Also an oval silver charm with the spiral of life and “Follow your Heart” imprinted and engraved onto it.
Simply empowering!

Inspiration Blooms Bracelet

Shine Bright Through Strength Awareness Bracelet

Shine Bright Through Strength Awareness Bracelet
Beautiful Awareness Bracelet
Handcrafted to empower, inspire
Strength comes through ~ Shine Bright.
Made with glass beads which reflect purple in the light to highlight silver glass beads. Two silver Tibetan charms, one with Hope engraved and imprinted into it & a beautiful silver charm of a sunflower on a durable, heavy duty elastic thread to fit any size.
Sunflowers represent a symbol of happiness, strength, a love of the sun & sunlight and because it is said to always turn its face to the sun it is considered by some to be a symbol of faith & the Chinese believe sunflowers symbolize long life and good luck.
Many believe the symbolic meanings of the sunflower are:
Faith
Longevity
Healing
Nourishment
Focus
Good Luck
Magic
Worship
Flexibility
Spiritual knowing
 

Shine Bright Empowerment Bracelet

Shine Bright Empowerment Bracelet

Beautiful Awareness Bracelet
Handcrafted to empower, inspire.
Strength comes through ~ Shine Bright.
Made with glass beads which reflect purple in the light to highlight silver glass beads. Two silver Tibetan charms, one with Hope engraved and imprinted into it & an oval silver charm with a beautiful shining amethyst on a durable, heavy duty elastic thread to fit any size.
Amethyst is well known for having a positive affect against insomnia and nightmares. You can dispel nightmares and encourage lucid dreaming. It is also used in meditation to allow relief of stress and anxiety, a calming stone which works in the emotional, spiritual, and physical planes to provide calm, balance, patience, and peace.
Beautifully inspiring!

Silver Ribbon Bracelet

Beautiful Ribbon Awareness Bracelet
Handcrafted to empower, inspire and show strength.
Made with silver glass beads which reflect beautifully in the light. A silver Tibetan Ribbon charm with Hope engraved and imprinted into it. Four delicate silver glass bead bracelets, two with occasional purple beads to indicate Abuse Awareness, heavy duty elastic thread to fit any size.

Thank you and please do let me know what you think! : )

Happy Friday : D

Love, Life, Laugh, Hugs, Smile

An emotional wreck, who me?

Love life laugh brave strongChristmas came around this year and as usual that and the New Year is always tough but this year I had a complete meltdown! I’m not going to go into it too much and bore you to tears but it all surrounded some “Stuff” I wrote, said and then went completely overboard on the “What If’s” which then led to the “What the hell am I doing’s”

I cursed myself out, gave myself a massive guilt trip then cried. An emotional wreck, who me?… Oh yeah… Happy Christmas. Urgh!

Until my friend called me, giving me a swift verbal kick in the butt! lol Told me to get back on the horse, not to stop raising awareness about abuse and violence.

I want to say a huge thank you for all the support and love you have given to me through 2013.

Here’s some hugs and kisses <3

So here goes…

Giddy up horsey! 2014 is here and we is a wasting time… ; )

Thank you

Do you have an abusive Narcissistic or Borderline parent?

RainbowI wrote a post called “The Confessions of… me” a while ago. It was a difficult post to write because when I started this blog I was scared of how people might view or react. I wrote about holidays, of how I was writing a book. It was all happy fluffy bunnies and rainbows.

One day it hit me that while I was doing this I was just trying to mask what I really was about or was thinking. I sat down and just started to write, to get out there some of the things I was. It was strange to start putting it out there and usually I would look it over an edit, changing words around, correcting spelling mistakes etc… but in that post I didn’t. It was emotionally draining, after I wrote it I just hit “Publish” If I read it back now I see a ton of grammatical mistakes but I’m not going to fix them because it’s just as it is, raw.

Now I have come to another point in my journey. Yesterday I wrote a simple post on Facebook because it suddenly hit me that this year I wouldn’t be receiving a Christmas card from my mother… I did a little jump for joy! Good!

Every year my mother would send me a Christmas card, in it would be a little note: “Dear Claire, Hope you are well. I guess you still don’t want to talk to me. Geoff is fine. I see Dad but he’s not well, don’t think he’ll make it past Christmas. Love Mum.” This was her gift to me every year since I have been here in New York. I think you’ll agree the note is very warm, heartfelt and just filled to the brim with emotion. This is a woman who has been emotionally abusive, psychically violent and manipulative throughout my life. I’ve found it comes with a mental health term too! It’s called a Narcissism and Borderline personality. Hey! who knew? It turns out there is/was a reason for the behavior over the years.

Now I know you think I’m being harsh but a couple of calls came into me recently. One was an attorney who asked if I wanted to bring criminal charges against her because apparently I could. Secondly, I was asked to be a speaker at a child abuse event called Shattering the Silence Tour in Harlem in NYC. The first call knocked me sideways a little… think about it have your own mother arrested! Secondly, do a Child Abuse event? I wasn’t sexually abused as a child so how could I be of any ‘real‘ help? It made me think though, especially when I’d had an attorney call me. It turns out there are more ways to abuse a child. There is emotional and physical abuse. 

Let’s see, emotionally abused… Would that include the following?:

  • Your father suffers from a brain aneurism, never to fully recover and be placed into a nursing home, then to be told every month by your mother he’s dying and not going to make another 4 weeks… Every month for 10 years?
  • Your mother says that if you move to be safe from a stalker threatening you and your children’s lives that she’ll pull Grandparents Rights in court so that you can’t move, that if he kills you and the children… Well at least your graves will be nearby…
  • When you do move and find safety, to then call your children every morning and evening, telling them how Grandma misses you, cries on the phone, makes your children feel guilty for not ‘being there for Grandma’ and feel the need to return back to where they left to be safe with daddy because “Your mother’s not well”
  • Tells everyone she knows that you are so mentally unstable that you will kill your own children.
  • Telling an ex-boyfriend’s mother you’re pregnant when your not just to “Get back at them!”
  • Telling your ex-husband that you are mentally unwell as a Manic Depressive (Now more well known as Bipolar) should be put in a strait jacket and locked away. That if you get ‘Out of Control” then simply ‘Hit some sense into her.’
  • Tells friends and family lies about you so that they will walk away, not wanting anything to do with you because after all ‘You are mentally unwell and a danger to society.’
  • You are told: You will never amount to anything in life. You are not pretty, just very plain. You will never be a success at anything and why couldn’t you be more like her friend’s children? And the best one?… This was repeated a lot to me: ‘Whore.’ That last one is a pretty easy to understand, an all encapsulating word.
  • Screaming at someone very close to you for having a miscarriage, as if it was all their fault.

Those are not all, just a few as a taster… You see Narcissists will play a game of life so that everything revolves around them. My mother played it well, Oh poor me, my daughter is deranged, poor me! In the 2 phone calls she made to me in 10 years one was during Hurricane Sandy, if I’d picked up the call it would’ve have been a coffee clutch talking point, “Oh poor me! I have a daughter going through the hurricane!” See how that works?

Physical Abuse? Lets see…

  • Punching, kicking, pulling your hair, throwing objects across the room at you, like knives, forks… A hot iron. Example: You’re at an operatic event which you father is taking part in. It’s held in a small cricket pavilion filled with elderly people looking for an enjoyable afternoon. You tell your mother after 2 hours you have to leave. You try to make a fast exit because you get “The Look”. You make it to the small foyer with your children, only suddenly behind you, to get pulled down to the floor by your ponytail. She’s screams words like “Bitch!” very loudly so all the people stop talking to listen as to what is happening. Then come the punches, kicks, hair pulling and scratches. The memory is now rather vague as to who it was who pulled her off me.
  • Throwing someone very close to you through the front door (Which was closed at the time) maybe I should re-phrase that one and say: Used someone very close to me as a ‘battering ram’ through the glass door so they landed in the front yard…

That’s just a couple of memories. Then there are some which I thought were normal until my husband pointed out that actually they were. To be given Green Label ale on holiday as a treat. That started when I was six. Christmas treat was being woken on Christmas Eve and given a martini and chicken sweet and sour at midnight because it would be good for me. Martinis really don’t taste that great when your kid.

In England we call soda fizzy pop and juice is mixed cordials. These too were treats because we were normally given tea and coffee. When I was 7 years old I was told that the milk and sugar wasn’t going to be in the coffee anymore because allegedly it was bad for me, since then coffee has always been black, no milk, no sugar, drink of choice. Hey, you end up staying with some things you grew up, thinking it was normal for a 7 year old to drink black coffee, right? It’s funny now because doctors tell me not to drink it, a habit that’s been with me now for 41 years… Get real!

Lovin' Coffee <3 www.pinterest.com

Lovin’ Coffee <3
http://www.pinterest.com

I stayed ‘good and true’ to my mother after dad became sick, knowing what it was like being alone and scared. We did have one argument. I just wanted her to admit to the 10 year love affair she’d had. She’d always called him her ‘friend’. Please, I too have friends but don’t writhe around naked on the dining room floor with them in the middle of the day! That one was embarrassing to witness… I called every month to see if she was alright, to which I’d be told “Your dads dying”. I would hang up and cry every month, until my uncle told me to stop it, to kiss her goodbye.

I mourned my mother quietly for a week, that weekend I sat around the fire pit with friends, taking her photos I placed each one into the fire and said goodbye to her. Wishing her no harm, now or in the future. Sending her blessings and love.

Our fire pit :)

Our fire pit :)

She has introduced herself to my friends in the past as the ‘Wicked Witch of the North’. I know she likes to think of herself as a bitch to be reckoned with. The last few times that we spoke, two years ago she said she was going to marry Geoff because the pension she was getting just wasn’t enough money for her even though she said it would be like having to kiss a toad. Oh! don’t feel too bad for Geoff, he gets something out of it too! He moved from his mobile/park home into a brick and mortar house which she managed to get out of the divorce from dad.

Now let’s see… Back to the Christmas note. My reply would be: Dear Mum. I’m fine. I really couldn’t give a rats ass if Geoff’s okay or not and I know Dad’ll make it past Christmas cos the Nursing Home tells me so when I call there, Love Claire”

Do I forget the past now? No. Do I forgive? I say be careful because ‘Forgiveness’ can be a heavy word to carry around. Seriously! you see how many letters make up that word! Especially at Christmas time (giggles)

For the record, I am not nor have I ever been a Manic Depressive or Bipolar. My hat goes off to those who are, it must be incredibly difficult to live with and they are real heroes for coping with it.

Do you have a Narcissistic or Borderline personality parent?

Do you dread Christmas because you know there will be one family member to turn it on it’s head?

 

 

 

Male Abuse Awareness week, Dec 1 – 8 2013

th_painThis week is Male Abuse Awareness Week. I wrote about how sometimes men are forgotten when it comes to domestic violence, rape and abuse, Abused Men: When relationships turn bad

Most of the time when we watch or read the news it shows how women are abused, killed, kidnapped and tortured, sold into sex trafficking rings but the sad fact is, it happens to men too. More than 40% of all domestic violence victims are male but many surveys actually show the statistic to 50%. Assaults by Women on Their Spouses or Male Partners: Virtually all sociological data shows women initiate domestic violence as often as men, that women use weapons more than men, and that 38% of injured victims are men, (California State University Professor Martin Fiebert summarizes almost 200 of these studies online.) This includes mental, emotional and physical abuse.

My husbands ex wife tried to drive them off a bridge once coming back from a hospital visit She threatened him with a kitchen knife, would beat and hit him. When we first met in JFK Airport he was still bearing the open scratch wounds to his face and neck from defending himself. This abuse had gone on for ya\ears due to alcohol and substance abuse. He had asked me to come to New York to save him because we understood each other and how desperately lonely it can become, especially being a man. Who was told to leave his home while she was on one of her tirades. The Police told him to leave for the night but he was the victim and his wife was left to take care of his children in the house even though she was drunk… Now she’s not allowed to take care of children and is actually on the Child Abuse List.

On a separate issue of abuse, do you know that 1 in 6 men suffered from unwanted sexual abuse before they reached the age of 18? But rarely is it talked about because they are often too frightened to step forward and say something.

It is thought even in this day and age, that men can withstand anything. They are considered to be strong and tough. If they step forward and say something it will disclose a ‘chink in their armor”. Well, sorry guys but you are human too and it’s a far stronger statement to the world when they do step forward and say something! One of the reasons though for staying quiet could be the fact their main abuser was… Their own mother! Yes, statistically mothers sexually abusing them is high, 80%. Can you imagine that? Your own, close care giver in life?

When we think of child abuse, we tend to lean towards the father abusing a daughter and that is true, but how often do we ever think of a mother abusing her son? We don’t but we should as it is happening.

Think abut how a man feels after he has been subject to rape. If he is heterosexual, scared the world will think he is gay and not say anything. If the victim was gay, it’s intimate partner violence if he’s raped then there may be a feeling it is punishment because of his sexual orientation. Rape is one persons ‘power trip’ over another. It doesn’t distinguish between sexual orientations, religion or creed.

We hear about the Catholic Church. The scandals which constantly rock it with clergy facing child abuse trials. Put yourself in a child’s shoes for one moment, how do you tell your parents your priest has sexually molested you? Will they believe you? A Priest, a Father is supposed to be there to give faith, love and support. He is supposed to be a pillar of a community. I know victims who, after they were grown found their voice to speak up only to be rejected by their family for speaking against a priest.

Talking about “Pillars of Society”… There are the likes of the Jerry Sandusky‘s of the world… Sport coaches expected to teach our children not abuse them! In 1977 he founded The Second Mile, a charity for underprivileged and ‘at risk’ youth, only to be arrested in 2011 on 52 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15 year period. He met some of his victims through The Second Mile. Four charges were dropped but he was found guilty of 45 offenses against the remaining 48. He was sentenced to 30-60 years in jail on October 9th, 2012. His pleas for  a retrial were rejected.

Male Abuse victims suffer long term. Just like women who have been abused because we are, after all, human. The after effects include, PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts, dissociation, chronic fatigue, panic attacks, the list goes on.

Many celebrities have come out from the shadows to speak up about their own experiences:  Ozzy Osbourne, Drew Carey, Gabriel Byrne, Sugar Ray Leonard, Sen. Scott Brown.

I have read stories, documents, seen first hand the impact of abuse against against males. A few weeks ago a movie came up on the TV listings. Set in London, it really didn’t describe the story fully but a couple of my indexfavorite actors were in it (Clive Owen and Jonathon Rhys Meyers). One rainy afternoon I hit play… It is about a man who is raped, the perpetrator wasn’t gay but decided he didn’t like the man, he was jealous of him.  The story tells of how he is found the next morning, dead. His brother played by Clive Owen comes back to find the reason behind his brothers death.  It left me thinking about how many men are out there, feeling so disorientated, alone and ashamed. It is incredibly sad!

This coming week my friend Bill Murray will be raising awareness through his Blog Talk Radio show and his organization; NAASCA. He was abused as a child and seeks to raise awareness and promote healing. I was on his blog talk radio show last summer and he has become a hero of mine, speaking up for all abused men and children!

SCAN

So please help us raise awareness to give love, support and strength to all those male survivors out there.

Help4guys.org

RAINN

Joyful Heart Foundation org

Ow’s tha edi’in doin? You know Yorkshire, huh?

From :Image:Shields.tar.bz2, by Lupin Raster v...

Image:Yorkshire rose (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I’m in the midst of editing Stalking Liberty . It is based on a true story, my story as you know if you have been following my blog posts while I was writing it. As I wrote Stalking Liberty and A Broken Ring, I used the Yorkshire dialect to reflect it was set in Northern England… Yorkshire. Most Americans understood it perfectly while a couple of editors commented that it needed editing… But it didn’t need editing… It was using ‘dialect’

 

This puzzled me because if I wrote it in Oxford English it certainly wouldn’t have reflected the region at all!I often have to repeat myself here in New York if I forget to slow down when I speak, sometimes I’m just met with a blank look! How odd, I told myself! These people have problems really understanding me sometimes. I thought about it for a while then I asked my sister- in law if she watched The Game of Thrones.

“Yes” She replied.”You watch Game of Thrones and… Understand it?” I asked her slowly.”Yes, of course. Why?” She was now looking at me with a puzzled look on her face.”Because” I answered “When the characters are in Westeros they speak with a Yorkshire accent. You’re telling me you understand them but not me sometimes!””Ahh! Well! They speak slowly. You speak fast!

DUH!”

 

Now I understand why some people thought I was writing grammatically incorrectly here in the US! They thought I was trying to write Oxford English… Nah… Wrong. It’s called Yorkshire. Think of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights or Kestrel for a Knave by author Barry Hines which was later adapted into a movie which they titled “Kes.” We usually drop most of our ‘T’s in words therefore ‘Little’ becomes ‘Li’ul’… And ‘Hurt’ becomes ‘Hur’ with what is called a ‘Glottal Stop’, which I didn’t use in the books. Have I managed to confuse you yet? Don’t worry, we are speaking English here! It basically dates back to Anglo-Saxons and works in a phonology.

 

Just to make it easier:

 

Standard English West Riding East Riding North Riding
about abaht aboot aboot
down dahn doon doon
house ‘ahse ‘oose ‘oose
boot booit beeat beeat
fool fooil feeal feeal
door dooar deear dooar
floor flooar fleear flooar
speak speyk speeak speeak
coal coil cooal cooal
home ‘ooam, ‘eeam ‘ooam, yam ‘eeam, ‘ooam, yam
father fatther feyther, faather feyther, faather

 

Just so there is no confusion, I’m from what they call the ‘West Riding of Yorkshire‘ When I talk to friends now in Yorkshire on the phone from here, they say I sound American but my husband becomes lost when I slip back into Yorkshire Phonology.  I hope now you understand how I used Yorkshire phonology very simply and only a few contracted consonants in the dialects… Ta-dah!  Try edit that through Oxford English! (Giggles) I just wanted to help clear up my colloquial English dialect in the upcoming Stalking Liberty but you see, I wrote it a lot easier to understand when I write it in my books! Just like you understand Game of Thrones… The third book in the trilogy will be interesting to write as I tackle the New York dialect though I understand I will be using plurals a lot as I’m told here it not ‘You it’s ‘Yous’ as in “Ah! Yous took a bus here!” Argh!!! I have written about this once before but I really wanted to bite more into some wonderful phonological phrases, glottal stops and contracted consonants. Try saying that fast, she says with a wink! 

Even good ol’ Patrick Stewart understands! Have fun watching him as he descends back into his home dialect. 

 

Please let me know if you understand him!  

 

 

Author Interview with Maxine Browne of Years of Tears

Maxine Browne

Maxine Browne

Today, I am pleased to be introducing you to Maxine Browne, Author of Years of Tears. Maxine was in an abusive marriage for 10 years and this is her story.

1) A brief synopsis of your book, Years of Tears.


Years of Tears is a true story. It records our family’s journey through domestic violence. It falls under the category of relationship, family or memoir.

One failed marriage and two kids later, I met a man I thought was the answer to my prayers. He turned out to be my worst nightmare. He was a controlling tyrant. He cut me off from friends, family and even my own children. He controlled the mail, the phone, transportation and money. The verbal, emotional and psychological abuse was off the charts. By the end of 10 years, he had stripped me of everything. As I lost all sense of myself, I became severely depressed. Just before I committed suicide, I left and rebuilt my life from nothing.

I interviewed my children for this book. They told their own stories of being abused by their stepfather. It is unusual to hear the children’s versions of events, but I felt their story had to be told. The consequences of marrying the wrong man have changed our lives. We are forever changed.

I demonstrate the tactics used against a victim of domestic violence with specific examples from our lives, the impact it had on us and the red flags I missed. My hope is that this book will increase awareness of domestic violence and help people recognize the warning signs of an abuser so they will leave as soon as they see these red flags.

It’s too late for my family, but I hope this book will set other captives free before they get in as deep as I did.

2) What is the ‘back story’ to your book cover and title?


I titled the book Years of Tears because those words accurately described those years as I remember them. I asked a friend to create a cover with a woman crying and with a drop of water creating a ripple on the surface of still water (to symbolize the consequences that will reverberate for the rest of my life). I told her I wanted the colors to be blue and grey. The cover I chose was one of the original three choices she sent to me. It was perfect.

Years of Tears  by  Maxine Browne

Years of Tears
by
Maxine Browne

3) What made you want to become a writer? (What was you motivation and inspiration?)
I never thought of myself as a writer, but I had one story to tell that I was passionate about. To my surprise, I am finding writing to be a wonderful way to express my thoughts and to make a difference in the world.
4) Did you employ and editor for the storyline, proofreading or editing?
I did not use a professional editor. However, I gave many copies of my book out to friends and associates and got feedback from anyone willing to read it. I made most changes that were suggested to me.

5) Are you self-published or traditional/ Why did you choose to publish this way?


After 10 years of verbal abuse, I knew I would never be able to withstand the many rejections the traditional publishing process requires. I would have given up after the first rejection due to my own insecurities. (See? Like John used to say, “Who do you think you are? You are an idiot!”) Therefore, I published the book myself. I was determined to finish this project.

6) Do you have any hints or tips that you have found in marketing?


Marketing my book has taken more effort than I thought it would. It is a continual undertaking. I use Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and LinkedIn. I do public speaking and book signings. I have a blog and do some guest writing for others. I read on how to market my book every chance I get and am continually trying to improve my efforts.

I plan on having my book made required reading for women’s study programs and used in domestic violence batterer intervention programs and shelters. When I have accomplished these things, I will be selling books by the truckload. Right now, that is not the case.

Maxine Browne

Maxine Browne

7) What was your most amazing moment in writing your book?
The most amazing moment for me was when my printed books arrived in the mail and I saw the completed project for the first time. A close second to that was when I saw a picture of two men holding up copies of my book on Facebook. Both of these moments made me cry.
8) If your novel was to be made into a movie which actor would you like to play the leading role?
I would like Reece Witherspoon to play me in the movie. She already speaks out on the topic of domestic violence and I feel she would do a great job with the role.

9) Is there a sequel forthcoming or any new book in the works?


I have a chapter in an anthology coming out on December 6, 2013 entitled The Missing Piece: A Transformational Journey. The compiler is Kate Gardner. My goal is to be an International Best-Selling Author. I am working on a workbook series to accompany Years of Tears as well as a feministic slant on the classic fairy tales of Cinderella, Snow White and others. This has been a lot of fun to write and a lot lighter than my first book.

10) Do you have an inspirational, motivating or funny anecdote you would like to share?
What happens to us in life does not define us, but conquering adversity adds depth of character to our lives. If we do not allow the adversity to embitter us, we are then uniquely able to help others. It can be a beautiful thing. When I share my story I feel the pain of yesterday can set others free today. When I see the difference I can make in their lives, it makes everything I suffered worthwhile.
www.maxinebrowne.com
twitter.com/maxinebrowne
YouTube Channel: Maxine Browne
LinkedIn: Maxine Browne
Years of Tears is available on Amazon. There is also a Kindle version.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=maxine%20browne

To all the survivors ~ Salute!

I was going to post this today because it makes me think of everyone of us who grew up looking to get out of the towns they grew up in. To find a different way of life.

When I was a teenager I sat with a group of friends in our local park. It was a warm sunny day in the small Yorkshire market town. We had all just watched Footloose, there is a scene in it where they promise to get out of the small town where they live.

When I was 30 years old I was given the opportunity to move. I took it with both hands and ran. The funny side to this is that I had clients for mortgages and I took them with me. Once I was settled I continued my work with them.

One day I had to call one the clients realtors, I dialled the number and a lady answered. As I talked with her about the property my client was looking to buy her name spun around in my head. I recognised it so I asked her which school she had gone to, that her name was familiar to me. I told her my maiden name. She gasped “Oh I know you!”  She paused for a moment and asked me where I was calling from. I told her. It was 300 miles away from my home town. “Wow!” She exclaimed “You got out!” I thought for a second confused, then suddenly the memory hit… From when we were all sitting around in a circle, in our local park, promising to leave one day!

Well, these days I’m even further away instead of 300 miles I’m just a skip and a jump of 3,000 miles away!

I really hope you listen to this video for a couple of reasons:

1. Jake Bugg is freaking amazing! and welcome to Jake Buggs world : )

2. I’m posting this for all the people who wanted to and did leave a place where they just weren’t happy.

3. For Cheryl Therrien who is looking to add new music to her music collection

and lastly…

To all those survivors who got out and those looking who will be survivors and will get out!!