This was shared to my Facebook Home page from:
Oh, to spend the night with you, to hold you close as close as one holds on to Life,
To see you with the eyes of Angels,’ for they know what beauty is,
You are the first light in my eyes and the last light into the night, for in which you shine brighter then the brightest star with in it,
My life is filled with the joy of you, for you have become the air I breath and the life within me,
My love is no lie for I know that, when I look at you, my heart swells with all that’s good
and decent in the World,
And in the time that when I should get to kiss you, I know that it will be as the taste of honey,
Oh! to spend the night with you to hold you close, as close as one holds on to Life!
by Vincent Cappetta
This poem was written by my hubby to me, he just uploaded it onto poetry.com last night. He’s a little shy about his poetry though.
The picture was taken last 4th of July when we sat waiting for the fireworks in Hudson River Park, NY.
What more could a girl ask for? A guy who loves her and fireworks in the city!
I am posting up my first Chapter of A Broken Ring
Please do not read if you are under 18!
Are sensitive in nature or easily upset!
It is fairly graphic I’m told and is intended for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY!!!
Okay. There’s my disclaimer
Please leave comments and feedback and let me know what you think.
Please click the link below;
(Or the page tab above)
I love Easter, I think it’s a great time of the year! Hyacinths are fragrant, Daffodils are shining bright yellow, promising that the summer’s sun is on it’s way!
In Britain, way back before Christ, we used to celebrate Ostara. It was also called Eastre (By the West Anglo-Saxons), the welcoming of Spring and thanking the goddess Eostre for looking after us and keeping us safe throughout winter. It was also the time she gave birth to the sun child, who grew up rather quickly and was betrothed on May Day, and that’s a whole different day for dancing around poles with ribbons etc.
Kings and Queens would go to a crossroads or a wooden cross and bury fish and eggs as a thank you. This is why we have Easter bunnies, Easter Eggs. Little yellow fluffy chickens decorating Simnel Cakes. A time of year for rebirth.
Having lived in the US for a while now, I know we don’t have Easter Eggs in boxes, it’s a basket filled with goodies, which is wonderful, but I wanted to incorporate something from home, of course we have a special meal, baked honey ham, yams in sweet brown sugar and marshmallows (one of my favorite discoveries since coming here!) etc and hubby helps The sister-in-law, with her hubby in tow, comes to dinner and we have a fun time. Finished with a cross shaped Simnel cake, yum!
But (and I know you shouldn’t start a sentence with a ‘but’… but it’s a big one!) Breakfast for me is the best! I make Kedgeree. It’s so incredibly simple and takes you through to dinner. It incorporates the eggs for Easter and the fish and eggs for the goddess of the old ways.
200g (7oz) long grain rice
375g (12oz) smoked haddock fillets
15g (½oz) butter
½ onion, finely chopped
2tsp mild curry powder
½ red chilli, finely chopped (optional)
small handful fresh parsley, chopped
8oz frozen green peas
½ lemon, juiced
Cook the rice in boiling salted water following packet instructions. Throw in the peas halfway through cooking the rice
Meanwhile, put the haddock in a large frying pan with just enough water to cover. Bring to simmering point, then simmer for 2-3 minutes, until tender. Or place the fish in a covered microwave-proof dish and cook for 2-3 minutes. Drain, skin and flake the haddock, discarding any bones.
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Fry the onion over a low heat until tender, then add the curry paste and chilli (if using) and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add the cooked rice, peas and fish. Season well. Stir over a moderate heat for about 5 minutes until hot, then stir in the parsley and lemon juice.
Meanwhile, boil the eggs in water for 6 minutes, drain and cool under cold running water. Shell the eggs, quarter and arrange on top of the kedgeree.
Sprinkle a little Paprika over to serve.
It’s so incredibly good, almost an early morning comfort food, makes breakfast feel a little special too! One very technical word sums it up… YUM!… and Bunny Stew would not feel right at Easter!
Happy Easter to you and I wish you a wonderful meal with crazy family and warm friends x
I wanted to share this song with you, it brought back some memories! I remember how I used to listen to this after I had kicked my boyfriend out and he had started to stalk me.
I would listen to this in the house in my own and it somehow gave me the strength to get through it all, it was a song in which helped me feel empowered. I don’t know why, some of it made sense at the time, some of it didn’t, but then when you have a stalker, life doesn’t seem to make mush sense…
Do you have a song you can relate too that helped you through difficult times?
I have thought about writing this post for a little while, I have learned about Rape Trauma Syndrome and could have approached in a way that is technical (These are the facts, guys) but you can Google the facts. They are there for anyone who wants to see the black and white thesis’s, but for anyone who has experienced it, it’s not black and white. Each person’s experience’s are different.
I was raped when I was fifteen and my life was difficult for a long time after. I sometimes wonder if this was because I kept it to myself for years and when I did explain what had happened I was given a nurse in the GP’s office to “talk to”. She would look at me very strange. I thought it was because maybe I felt I was a little crazy. No, I wasn’t, it turned out she wasn’t a qualified counselor, so much for that help!
I had difficulty concentrating at school, my grades went down. I became depressed and my teacher who thought she was a therapist as well, tried to help but made it so much worse, making me feel more isolated, even suicidal. I felt nauseous, my stomach never felt ‘settled’ and I lost weight which was not the best, as I was tall and skinny to start with, but my appetite left me, even junk food which every teenager loves didn’t interest me.
I wore black clothes outside of school, not because I turned goth, like everyone thought I had. I just didn’t have an interest in choosing clothes, lets face it black takes very little imagination, black always goes with black! I had little self-esteem and didn’t like the person who looked back at me in the mirror. I startled when people got too close suddenly and I still do this, it annoys my husband no end!
I found that when I’m in a stressful situation my mind will, as I call it ‘crash’. I will start a sentence when speaking and my mind will go blank, totally blank, but this I’ve learned is normal. You could think of it akin to driving a car. If you hit the gas, you go forward, if you hit reverse, well of course you go back, but if you hit both peddles your car it will jerk and stall. That what happens to the mind, you can’t go forward or back and Bam! You’ve stalled!
I know all of the above doesn’t happen to everyone, but I have had a few more incidents in life too. For some it is a one time event to recover from but mine then stalked me, so I think that it is this reason along with a few others that I have been left with some of the “kinks’ as I call them.
I understand victims (and I hate that word) suffer immediate symptoms and feelings following a rape which are:
- Guilt: (Was it my fault? If only I had done… differently)
- Trying to block it out: “It’s fine, everything is fine, stop making a big deal over it, it’s just life”
- Loss of appetite: food just doesn’t appeal or over eating trying to compensate and trying to adjust emotions
- Problems sleeping: can’t sleep or want to sleep more to avoid facing life
- Flashbacks to the event and or nightmares
- Feeling isolated.
- Distrusting of people, especially those who may visually look like the offender.
- Concentrating is difficult, can’t meet deadlines at work.
- Think “I’m going crazy” or “I came into the room for something, but what? Can’t remember…”
- Feel angry, think about retribution and revenge.
- Mood swings: happy one minute, depressed another.
- Fear of being alone: either on the streets or in the home, depending where the rape took place.
- Crying out of nowhere, easily upset, or argumentative.
- Feeling generally unwell, muscle aches, pains, bruises, run down.
- Feeling distant with a lack of emotion towards anything.
- Become either overly dependent or very independent (my mother said to me once she had made me too independent, it wasn’t her that made me this independent!)
- Suddenly drinking a lot of alcohol to numb the pain or substance abuse. (neither are helpful and enforce a feeling of worthless and depression, both unhealthy)
These symptoms can last for a short amount of time or last for years depending on how soon the person who was violated steps forward and says “This happened to me”.
There is often a feeling of no control, this can then be followed with major changes, moving to a different state, county, change of jobs, change of appearance. This is all done under the attempt to regain control of one’s life.
It also depends on background, age, previous abuse issues, married or single. I have read it is difficult for married women as the husband has problems dealing with his issues on it too, and can sometimes blame his wife, again that word, sometimes.
Rape Trauma Syndrome is now also considered in some courts, not all, when and most importantly if it is taken to trial by the victim.
I want to say, there is light at the end of tunnel. I started to write as a healing tool, as I found when I met my husband, he
would ask me about my earlier years and not having thought about it for a long time I realized I had gaps in my memory and writing has helped bring them back to the surface. I don’t regret it. It’s a difficult journey sometimes, especially when a flashback happens. Like a candle sometimes we burn strong and at times waver a little, but will always have our own true light to guide us through.
I know that I’m lucky. I know that I am strong and I know that I’m also still very independent, but look on this as a good thing that I was blessed with, I know that something was taken from me, but also that it gave me a gift of independence too.
It is strange to think that something so horrible can be a gift and through it have learned not to take any BS from anyone any more.
I am attaching links to the bottom of this post, so people can understand it a little more.
If you know of anyone who is going through this at the moment, then direct them to the links and ask them to really seek help. They are not alone. They are not crazy. They do not need to be “put into a straightjacket and carted off!”. They need to heal with love and support, because this will help them through it. Knowing someone out there will love them, support them and truly understand them will help with the feeling of isolation and feeling disconnected from the world.
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. Hubert H. Humphrey
Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. Sai Baba
I understand that no-one is ‘normal’ and we all have conflicts or issues to deal, but I feel I have found my ‘normal’ and I hope you find yours too.
A path to learning, to finding and being yourself again, just a different and wonderful you : )
I wanted to share this with you : )
Wishing you a wonderful weekend x
I want to thank Milenanik for nominating me for ‘The Sunshine Award”!
I understand that this Award is given to bloggers who are considered ‘Inspiring’ Nice! Some sunshine for a Friday ; )
On accepting this I understand the rules are to pay it forward to twelve people:
Rules to Accepting the Award:
1.Put the logo on Your blog
2.Pass the award to 12 bloggers
3.Link the nominees into Your post
4.Let the nominees know that they got an award by commenting on their blogs
5.Share the love and the link with the person from whom you did an award.
- Sunshine Award (milenanik3.wordpress.com)
Yesterday I wrote about my past. It took a lot of courage and I truly thought people may stop following me. I spoke to a colleague, Leslie Miller of http://awritersquery.wordpress.com and said it’s about time I confessed about why I started this blog.
I have to say I was amazed and surprised at the kind, heartfelt reactions I received, I made new friends too, it blew me away!
I want to say thank you sooo much for your support, sharing your stories with me as well. I learned a lot yesterday and I found some amazing things too, which I want to share as a thank you for all the love and support I received.
First I found these was linked on my Facebook Home page by http://justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com. He has great imagery, wonderful poems and is inspirational : )
And this one just speaks a thousand words: Two women smiling and happy, and my family joined in on my Facebook page with it. It brought a couple of smiles last evening! : )
I found this picture, which I thank Timothy Kurek for posting, I think we have all felt like this at some point in our lives!
Yes it’s an old song, but the images are amazing and I saw this on: http://ladybluerose.wordpress.com/. I visited her blog for the first time last night and was thankful I did! The poetry and images are beautiful and stunning, almost a “relaxing blog getaway vacation”! LOL