Life is… Simple!

ImpossibleThe last few weeks have been crazy busy! You see I thought organizing a concert would be easy… Simple… Pffft! I was of the belief it was just weddings that were crazy, but this is a whole new level! The biggest wedding I had to arrange involved 70 guests and though time consuming it became kind of fun.

This however is becoming a whole different animal! I spoke to one of my funders and we talked about venues two weeks ago and how I had the choice of three places… The Hammerstein, Below 54 club, which is just off Broadway or a yacht. I explained of how the Below 54 Club seated 150 people, of what a wonderful cozy place it is but I was cut down_ immediately with a “Good grief girl, I can fill a church with a 150 people on a Sunday!” Hmmm Okaaay…

Hammerstein Ballroom

Hammerstein Ballroom

The Hammerstein holds 1,600 and the yacht 1,200 people, simple huh? In the real world it’s like organizing a wedding with1,600-1,200 guests… See? Simple! He wants me to book the Hammerstein and so the yacht it is! On an evening in June with the full moon glinting over the East River from Near South Sea Street Port;-D

One of the decks on the yacht

One of the decks on the yacht

Oh and then there’s the guest line up. I have worked in some Rock, a little Hip Hop, some comedy and lastly a couple of guest speakers. Of course all well known to everyone. I’m also working with a charity and I have an organization to make donations to from the ticket sales. Then we are also working on a Pay per View version of it online for $5.99 so there’s a production crew for it and of course merchandise of T-shirts with a coupon for a Kindle down load of A Broken Ring, hats, CD‘s, posters… As I was saying… Simple! Oh yes I forgot there’s the PR company for radio and newspapers… So yes as I was saying… Simple!

If you think it’s just me going a little crazy here I’m not alone! See I told Hubby he has a 3 song set too! Hahaha! You  should’ve seen his face! From playing at the local open mic night to let’s say 20-30 people to playing in front of 1,200. Guess who’s panicking now! We just have to get him into a studio to polish him up with a producer…

Oh and by the way, we have to move again. The road floods weekly, ants absolutely love sharing this place with us, it’s drafty cold, the landlord won’t replace the washer/dryer, the fuse box hasn’t been replaced since Sandy so we keep thinking the place could go “Pooft!” up in an electrical fireball and smoke any day because it’s so corroded from the salt water flooding from the tidal surge.

Our flooded road after a normal high tide

Our flooded road after a normal high tide

You can imagine my surprise then when on finally letting my head hit the pillow on Tuesday night at 1am to wake up at 2am from a nightmare. It included ghost like zombies, they were pretty in fact almost ethereal but nonetheless zombies and they didn’t bite you to turn you into one… No! These evil crazy things just had to touch you! I woke up at the point where one was a cat with white eyes staring at me! I woke up and freaked because my bad, black puddy cat was standing staring at me in the dark! Seriously?! I told myself to calm down think of happy things and go back to sleep. I did but I ended up back in the same bloody dream again! This happened all night, needless to say I was exhausted on Wednesday and dragged myself around all day thinking about how I had “Stuff” to do still. Today I woke up more refreshed and did no work, no writing until now with this post and a little catch up on Facebook. I think the nightmares were a way of telling me to slow down a little… Simple. Yes I do like that word a lot lately. It seems to help keep everything on track and … Well… Simple!

I sometimes tell myself I must be crazy but the support I’m getting is amazing and uplifting and at the end of the day it really is all about spreading the word about violence and abuse, assault and rape. Letting people know they are not alone, that it effects everyone, black, white, straight, gay, women, men and children. Violence doesn’t discriminate but we can heal. We can transform and  become amazing!

In fact I’ve already started creating some cool things in my CafePress shop! Please check them out and let me know what you think. Just click on the picture below. Thank you for all your support and I hope your having an amazing week!

Transformation from Abuse

Transformation from Abuse

Transformation from Abuse.. My new online show!

Yes! You read it right! I’m going to be a talk show host on an online show!… Okay now that you have finished laughing, you can pick yourself up off the floor… Thank you!

You see… I was offered several different opportunities one being a book tour but when I thought about it_ most of my book sales have been Kindle sales. I’m still waiting for Nook to approve it and I’m having difficulties with Kobo but I’ll sort it out when I can. Kindle though has been wonderful, in fact I love it! You pay and BAM!! The book is there! How cool is that?

I sat down down and thought how crazy a book tour would be when just about everything I do is online! Therefore an opportunity online would seem to be the most fun way to go and VIOLA! It slam dunked it’s way right into my lap. Now those of you who have followed me know that I like to involve as many people as I can into a good thing… Spread the happiness, so to speak!

So here we go!

Transformation from Abuse - The new online show!

Transformation from Abuse – The new online show!

I am going to be hosting an online show called Transformation from Abuse. It will be aired worldwide as the internet is… Well.. Worldwide! Haha! Oh boy, can you tell I’m tired!

It will air twice weekly from NYC and will have a Twitter feed so the at home audience can ask questions in ‘real time’. There will be a set with a sofa, myself and a fully trained psychologist. Each episode we will have a different guest from celebrities, politicians, victims, survivors, doctors, advocacy groups… to be honest the list is endless!

We are then going to take it on the road! State to State, Coast to Coast! (This is where Claire fulfills one of her bucket list items… a t-shirt from every State! hee-hee). We will be meeting and introducing people from all around the country who is involved in abuse issues.

I hear you “Not my bag!” Your saying well not the case as there will be humor mixed in as well as some amazing healing techniques incorporating mind and body!!

To launch this wonderful show we are going to have an awesome concert! Yes! Here in NYC! Very R&B, very soulful!

On this night we are going to sell t-shirts with the logo on it, not only that but each t-shirt comes with a coupon of a free download of A Broken Ring!!!

Susan Cooper

Susan Cooper

Now one of the coolest things to all of this is the logo… Which I’m not releasing yet but you know it’s going to be awesome when I tell you Susan Cooper of Finding Our Way Now has been involved! Oh yeah baby! I have an original Susan Cooper graphic!!  Awesome!! Oh? You want a clue? It’s purple!! And no it’s not a ribbon! Fooled you!

Actually, on a serious note… It is fast becoming an amazing adventure more than I could have hoped for. It is becoming much more than the book… It is now becoming a whole new animal… One of healing, one of getting the word out there about abuse, one of letting people know they are not alone, giving a voice to people who are normally too scared to speak out as they can remain anonymous with an ‘Escape Button” on the site. A way of bringing communities and people together. I want people to come away from watching the show feeling empowered, inspired and totally uplifted! It will be about us, about ‘We the people!’ together, making a difference in this world as best we can!

Here is the video I have put together, as I updated my Indiegogo Campaign to incorporate the show as every little bit helps!

Now before you watch it think about this! There is a slide who someone put together for me and I have done so much reading and writing lately that I became word blind and missed a couple of grammatical mistakes. Thankfully, Sharla Shults found them for me but before I correct it I thought it might be fun to hold a little competition! First one to comment and say where they are will win a free Kindle Copy of A Broken Ring! Ta-Dah!!

So with out further ado here it is! And please every dollar, penny, pound… gold sovereign will help the show if you could take a minute to visit my Indiegogo Campaign here. I thank you most humbly!

National Stalking Awarenes Month 2013 is here

January is Stalking Awareness Month 2013

January is Stalking Awareness Month 2013

Each month is dedicated to some cause now. For me October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, April is dedicated to National Assault Awareness Month, but this month it is National Stalking Awareness Month which impacts 1 in 6 women and 1-in 19 men.

That’s a lot of people here in the US!

Think about how many people you know friends, family, in the work place. At some point of them, maybe even you have been or will be effected by someone stalking them. Those are frightening figures.

A stalker is terrifying, you lose all sense of freedom when you are wondering if they are watching you and when.. Are they watching you when you have dinner with friends? Calling you constantly?Does your inbox constantly get bombarded with messages from them? Or Twitter, Facebook… Any social media? Are they watching you while you go about your daily life in your own safe home?

It usually starts with the phone calls. The endless calls, when the phone rings and you recognize the phone number.

How to recognize a stalker:

  • You go to your local stores and they ‘accidentally’ run into you and try to start conversation.
  • You are driving and you look in the rear mirror, only to see that they are two cars behind you.
  • It is late at night, you look out of your window and their car is down the road parked, engine and lights off, in total darkness.
  • They call at your house wanting to talk to you, to reconcile the relationship.
  • You find messages, emails, letters, gifts and small packages left for you.
  • They start to threaten you and your loved ones.

It makes you feel vulnerable, stressed, fearful and threatened. Your privacy is gone and you have a stalker.

Stalkers have different psyches. It can be the jilted lover, husband or wife. It can be a co-worker, an admirer or friend, a social media ‘friend’. They come from all occupations and lifestyles.

What to do if you have a stalker:

  • Make sure safety is paramount in your home, check the locks on all doors and window locks work etc. and the phone cable outside is out of reach.
  • Rally your friends, family and co-workers for help and support.
  • Keep a journal of all the events
  • Get an additional phone number and keep it private. You must keep the old number and let it go to voice-mail, do not answer it or engage in conversation at all.
  • If it is an ex-lover, calmly and politely tell them you are not interested. Do not get angry or shout this can acerbate the situation.
  • Inform the police. Every state has Stalking Laws; I know the UK calls them Harassment Laws, this I know as the police told me I would be one of the first to use it when it passed in June 1997. (It worked too; my stalker was found guilty and now has a criminal record)
  • Find a network or group in your area to help you.
  • One of the first options you will be given is an Order of Protection, or a Restraining Order. This can work, but it can also push them over the edge to be violent or make them more determined.
  • Always before starting a relationship, trust your instincts, if they say run, then run. Never communicate, talk or respond to a stalker. They can become violent and murderous.

I list all the above to help people understand what it means. The word ‘Stalker’ is banded around as a flippant joke, but when it happens to you, it is debilitating and frightening, even those of us who know we are strong and tough!

man in streetWhen it happened to me, I took all the advice I could and when it didn’t stop, I was strongly advised by the police that I sell my home and move away, far away…350 miles difference in fact (Which in the UK is regarded as far!). When a police officer tells you he believes your stalker has murderous intent, you tend to make plans to move quickly! It didn’t stop until after the court case. I still received phone calls at my new place of work, but when the Magistrates Court declared him guilty and threatened him with imprisonment. It stopped.

 

If you have a stalker please don’t think you can handle it all by yourself. Get help! There are people out there dedicated to helping you. You do not have to go through it on your own, terrified. Know you are not alone!

As the National Stalking Organization says:

Stalking: Know it, Name it, stop it!

www.rainn.org

www.safehorizon.org

www.ncvc.org

www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/12/31/presidential-proclamation-national-stalking-awareness-month-2013

Healing ghosts of Christmas past

Scrooge's third visitor, from Charles Dickens:...

Scrooge’s third visitor, from Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas. With Illustrations by John Leech. London: Chapman & Hall, 1843. First edition. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I decided to take some time off over Christmas, to step back from my computer.  It was starting to feel a little like ‘Not seeing the woods for the trees” Sometimes in life I can get so emerged into work and tunneled visioned that I can start to feel a little overwhelmed and wonder where my next steps should be.

Just before Christmas I closed up my laptop and tucked it away so I couldn’t see it beckoning me, I think I can get so wrapped up in my virtual world I need to re-connect with myself again, to focus on what’s important and the message I want to get out there.

I realize the bottom line and the most important one is wanting people to know they are not alone when they are going or have been through abuse. I was told so many times that I was strange, not normal in my reactions. That I was a black sheep or better still needed to be put in a straight jacket and needed to be locked up with the key thrown away…

It still amazes me to this day how memories can be crystal clear and just flash into my mind out of the blue, ones I thought I had filed away under “Healed” only to discover I had filed them away under the wrong header and drawer of my mind.

To be really honest with you… I don’t like Christmas much. It creeps up on me every year as a dark monster… Lurking in the corners waiting to be released. The sense of dread starts at the beginning of December knowing the usual feelings of guilt and shame will wash over me like a tsunami. The memories taunt me, tower over me like a cold, scolding and unforgiving mother.

I long for January each year, to get past certain calendar dates, which once past I will be released into a newly born, fresh year filled with optimism and hope. Every year I tell myself next Christmas will be better… different.

Please don’t get me wrong! I’m not looking for “The Perfect Christmas” I don’t think anyone really has found that little animal yet, I believe those are made up of wonderful mistakes and comedies of errors to be thought back on down the road with laughter and conversations always starting with “Do you remember whens…?” Those are to be treasured. I’m talking about the life threatening, the verbal abuse that shanks like a sharpened knife in to your heart, the dread of hearing a doorbell ring and knowing you either can’t or don’t want to answer because you know what awaits behind it.

Every year people feel lost and lonely at Christmas, even those surrounded with rooms full of family and friends. Please spare a thought for those who are entering a Domestic Violence Shelter for the first time, terrified. Those who remain in violent situations, trying to smile to friends and family hoping the illusion of a perfect family won’t come crumbling down.

Just before Christmas I was offered an immense wealth of opportunities with my book for the coming year, some of which are incredibly amazing! On the call I had I was elated and excited, after it sunk in I was feeling overwhelmed. Now after taking a week off and giving myself time to digest everything I now feel in control and realize I have the power to choose and control everything that is offered my way.

My Christmas tsunami is receding back once again and I am looking forward to aThere is only one way

New Year earlier then usual. It is becoming a welcoming lighthouse in the distant, growing ever nearer. The beacon of light, beckoning me out of the fog.

I am working hard on the sequel to A Broken Ring. It is difficult at times reliving the past but I know once it is done I will feel a little more empowered and I might finally be able to put away my own ghosts of Christmas past!

Do you feel lonely at Christmas? Do you still have memories that haunt you each year? Do you feel you struggle through it with a fake smile?

Know you are not alone and that someone is right there with you!

If you need help please contact these organizations who are there 24/7 to help you

www.rainn.org

www.ncvc.org

www.safehorizon.org

For a limited time only… A Christmas Special!!

Thumbnail Broken Ring

For a limited time only… A Christmas Special!!

Buy A Broken Ring on Kindle for $2.99 for Christmas

Please feel free to share everywhere

Love n hugs ♥

www.amazon.com/abroken ring

It has been submitted into the library of Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence,

SCCADV is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing safety and support services to victims of Domestic Violence in Suffolk County, Long Island , New York.

http://www.sccadv.org

Also with Audry Hardy at Grove City Purple Purse Advocacy Gathering

http://clairecappetta.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/a-huge-thank-you-to-audry-hardy-of-grove-city-purple-purse-advocacy-gathering/

Stand up-Shout out

Cyber Monday needs A Broken Ring Perk vote!

Rape, Violence, Domestic abuse, A Broken Ring

A Broken Ring Indiegogo Campaign

Indiegogo is holding a competition for CyberMonday!

PRIZES FOR CAMPAIGN OWNERS

First Prize ⇒ $500 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Second Prize ⇒ $300 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Third Prize ⇒ $200 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Fourth through Eighth ⇒ Indiegogo prize bags (branded tote bag with a water bottle, notebook, pen and sticker)

PRIZES FOR VOTERS

5 randomly selected voters will get Indiegogo prize bags that include an Indiegogo tote bag with an Indiegogo water bottle, notebook, pen and sticker

Please click a vote for me, the most votes win!
Please share with as many people as you can!
Thank you so much, hugs xox

Please click the link here and click :Vote”! Indiegogo Competition

Thank you so much for voting! <3

A Huge Thank you to Audry Hardy of Grove City Purple Purse Advocacy Gathering!

A wonderful thing happened through our power outage here on the Island. Audry Hardy ventured onto my Facebook page to let me know he had purchased my book A Broken Ring. He was kind enough to post updates as he read it and once finished kindly gave me a review of his thoughts after reading it.

The best part is that Audry is setting up an Advocacy Group for victims of Domestic Violence in Grove City, Ohio. He is also going to display my book at the first meeting in December at the Grove City Purple Purse Advocacy Gathering!

All this happened while I was going through the storm blackout and was so surprised and feel so absolutely honored and completely blessed!

Audry posted this onto my Facebook page

“My review of A BROKEN RING…

The victim suffers sexual assault, physical assault, and mental degradation. Like most victims she remains in her situation (s) far too long until one day she empowers herself to start anew…a new life without an abuser.

Best line in the book was the last “wondering what fate had waiting for her, knowing that whatever it was, She was going to control it.”

This is a good book for graphically outlining the violence for community readers and advocates; showing the knowledge of freedom from domestic abuse as an active choice.

Lessons learned from Lydia…tell parents, a gal pal, authorities…someone if you feel you have been assaulted or abused. There is no shame in speaking up.”

 How awesome is that? A huge thank you to Audry for bearing with me through the blackout and for the total support!

 I wish him all the very best for his new support group and many years to come helping those who need it

The angels Hurricane Sandy’s aftermath brought

Just a quick post due to limited power here on Long Island.

I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU for everyone who has been so supportive with their comments through these last two weeks!

I also want to say a huge shout out to the Red Cross and the American Legion for all their support, their hot meals and sandwiches which delivered to us in the dark and through the curfews because with them we probably wouldn’t have had a meal in the past few days… it’s difficult to cook outside on a BBQ by candle light in a snow storm! :-)

We were also given cleaning supplies like kitchen towels, toilet paper, bleach, gloves etc… all the simple things we normally take for granted.

I have limited power due to the simple fact that our landlord was supposed to supply a generator, sadly this didn’t happen until our neighbor upstairs acquired one… That lasted two days, he hooked it to his fuse box so he is fully powered saying our fuse box was ‘compromised ‘and he couldn’t hook to ours and gave us an extension cord, which we were still happy and grateful for but sadly he disconnected two nights ago saying it was too much for his generator… So we went without power again until our hero next door hooked us up to his for the fridge-freezer. A true hero! A retired NYC police officer.

We don’t have transport as of now so getting a generator here is difficult so having such a wonderful neighbor next door is such a blessing. I’m telling you angel’s come from so many different places in life :-)

I hope you are all safe and warm and if you should should wish to help people who are struggling through this you can always donate funds to many organizations who are doing tremendous help across New Jersey, New York and the 5 boroughs out to Long Island.

http://www.redcross.org

http://www.tunneltotowersrun.org

My thoughts have also been drifting to families who are living through abuse too. Think about it… To live in an abusive household and suffering the aftermath of Sandy too… How utterly difficult, miserable and could destroying it must be. We see families, friends and neighbors pulling together through this… but I pause and think how lonely some people must feel… surrounded by family and friends but suffering even more once a door a is closed to a freezing cold house with a freezing cold relationship or a closed hotel door because they are displaced.. Sometimes we think of ourselves through these times but my thoughts go out to those who were suffering even before this storm hit… Lets face it a ‘SuperStorm” impacted so many people and so many different levels…

http://www.theretreatinc.org

www.cadvnc.org

http://www.sccadv.org

http://www.rainn.org

http://www.ncadv.org

 

Hurricane Sandy, new friendships and a new surreal world!

I’m sorry I haven’t been around for the week but we were hit by hurricane Sandy.

We thought that it was being hyped on the television and the radio… boy were we wrong!

We live on the Great South Bay, the houses across from us have backyards that run into the water with docks. At one end of the road we have boat yards which were busy hauling boats out of the water all day and at the other end of our block is the outdoor pool used by residents in the summer… It’s beautiful as it looks out over the water. From the window in our living room we can see the water and Robert Moses Bridge between the houses.

The wind started slow and steady building through the day, the clouds had being gathering for the past few days. My husband and I kept telling each other how we would be fine as neighbors around us evacuated. We told ourselves we would ride it through just as we had done before through Irene. in which we had lost no power, no belongings… no flooding.

As the hours ticked by the water in rod rose, the winds became fierce and before we knew it, it was to late to leave even if we wanted to. I took pictures as we were amazed how fast the water rose but we told each other at 5 o’clock it couldn’t possibly get too bad as we inspected the basement, which was staying relatively dry…

At 8 o’clock we were in full panic. The water rose in the basement as Vin handed boxes up to me in 5 minutes! One minute he was standing in a foot of water, then the basement windows blew in and water gushed in everywhere… literally. The water flowed between the cinder-block in gushing lines, it cascaded like waterfalls through the windows, in the time it took for me to turn around on the stairs he was chest deep in cold freezing water. The smell of gasoline permeating the air.

We rushed upstairs as Vin was shouting that the foundation was going to collapse. We stood in the living room for a couple of minutes hugging each other and shaking. Suddenly we kicked back into gear grabbing an overnight bag, cat box and electronics (laptop, cellphones) to take onto the stairs in the middle of the building in case our apartment flooded we could sit on the top of the stairs to the top apartment because we thought the water wouldn’t rise any higher than that. As we ran around we prayed aloud, glancing at the rising water “Please don’t get any higher! Please Archangel Micheal, Please protect us!’”

Suddenly we saw it wasn’t rising any more. It stopped a foot away from both the front and back door!

We were and are incredibly lucky! We tell ourselves this every day since! We have no heat, the burner submerged in the basement along with the water heater… We have running water but no hot water, we have no power but a neighbor has let us hook a line inside to power the fridge and the cellphones. Tonight for the first time we have used to to watch television as our dish is still in place. For the first time in over a week we watched the news. We cook using the BBQ and heat water for coffee, to wash etc.

Simply put we are back to basics/ We have spent the last week clearing our yard of debris from the tidal surge. We even had half a shed that had floated up!

We have met our new neighbors and the community has pulled together amazingly! I cooked a pot roast for neighbors on the BBQ. We sat in candlelight, talking like we were old friends, but had only met the day before. The area we are in is one under night curfew. We can;t leave after dusk, the police, parks department, National Guard and Fire drive around our neighborhood all night, protecting us from looters. The helicopters fly over as we hear boaters are coming in from the water to loot boatyards and houses too.

Through the day Red Cross come around handing us food, water and supplies along with volunteers from the American Legion.

Through the last week people have amazed us on so many levels, from being generous, thoughtful and kind to people who must have queued for hours to get gas for their cars so they could drive here to sight-see our devastation, our belongings drowned in dirt and gasoline, put on the curbs waiting for the garbage men to carry away memories built over years of laughter and tears.

We are lucky. People have lost everything, their houses, their belongings even their family members.

We still tell ourselves how lucky we are as we now face down a Nor’easter coming up the coast on Wednesday night. We hear there will be more flooding, more tidal surges, more damage. Only time will tell what we will be left with… as people fight at gas stations, stores are cleared of food with very few deliveries being made.

On the bright side the outlook for Saturday is sunny and warmer . We will come out of this dark period with new friends, new strength and a renewed outlook of life as to what’s important in life.

I did glimpse at my Facebook for 5 minutes the other day to see a woman had posted she was at a “Crisis Point” in her life… not knowing whether to choose between a Coach or a Micheal Kors bag… hmm…

Our front yard before the storm hit

Broken wood seemed to love being washed into our backyard

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to comment on posts lately or comments but I promise I will catch up with it soon! :-)

 

The Goodreads Giveaway for A Broken Ring

It has been an amazing week!

As I posted before in the week I set up an Indiegogo Campaign to help finance a publicist and to spread the word on Domestic Violence. People have been wonderful since sharing it through Twitter, Facebook, Google+ etc and I want to thank you for helping me. It means so much and what completely blew me away was a donation to kick it off from Bethany Lee. from Project Whitespace. I love her blogs and she has just completed a marathon too! How awesome is that! It made my day and I couldn’t help but do a little dance! lol

My Goodreads Giveaway ended today and was blown away to find 927 people entered into it! 420 people added it to their Goodread shelves to read… Beautiful :-)

To also cap off the week perfectly I am going to Sword-chinned‘s poetry reading from her recently published book: Mean Spirited Tales! (Click on the link to go to her Amazon Page)

Mean Spirited Tales

It will be followed by the movie, Night of the Living dead… how great is that to get ready for Halloween… and of course the Perfect Storm Sandy heading our way. Oh what fun! :-0

Oh and last but not least I managed to A Broken Ring registered into KDP Select this week too. Now that’s going to be an interesting one to watch!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and if I don’t post much at the beginning of next week it may be because we got a tad swamped inthe storm and the electricity may be a problem. If you are going to be in it too please stay safe!.. and dry!