Life is… Simple!

The last few weeks have been crazy busy! You see I thought organizing a concert would be easy… Simple… Pffft! I was of the belief it was just weddings that were crazy, but this is a whole new level! The biggest wedding I had to arrange involved 70 guests and though time consuming it became kind of fun.

This however is becoming a whole different animal! I spoke to one of my funders and we talked about venues two weeks ago and how I had the choice of three places… The Hammerstein, Below 54 club, which is just off Broadway or a yacht. I explained of how the Below 54 Club seated 150 people, of what a wonderful cozy place it is but I was cut down_ immediately with a “Good grief girl, I can fill a church with a 150 people on a Sunday!” Hmmm Okaaay…

Hammerstein Ballroom

The Hammerstein holds 1,600 and the yacht 1,200 people, simple huh? In the real world it’s like organizing a wedding with1,600-1,200 guests… See? Simple! He wants me to book the Hammerstein and so the yacht it is! On an evening in June with the full moon glinting over the East River from Near South Sea Street Port;-D

One of the decks on the yacht

Oh and then there’s the guest line up. I have worked in some Rock, a little Hip Hop, some comedy and lastly a couple of guest speakers. Of course all well known to everyone. I’m also working with a charity and I have an organization to make donations to from the ticket sales. Then we are also working on a Pay per View version of it online for $5.99 so there’s a production crew for it and of course merchandise of T-shirts with a coupon for a Kindle down load of A Broken Ring, hats, CD‘s, posters… As I was saying… Simple! Oh yes I forgot there’s the PR company for radio and newspapers… So yes as I was saying… Simple!

If you think it’s just me going a little crazy here I’m not alone! See I told Hubby he has a 3 song set too! Hahaha! You  should’ve seen his face! From playing at the local open mic night to let’s say 20-30 people to playing in front of 1,200. Guess who’s panicking now! We just have to get him into a studio to polish him up with a producer…

Oh and by the way, we have to move again. The road floods weekly, ants absolutely love sharing this place with us, it’s drafty cold, the landlord won’t replace the washer/dryer, the fuse box hasn’t been replaced since Sandy so we keep thinking the place could go “Pooft!” up in an electrical fireball and smoke any day because it’s so corroded from the salt water flooding from the tidal surge.

Our flooded road after a normal high tide

You can imagine my surprise then when on finally letting my head hit the pillow on Tuesday night at 1am to wake up at 2am from a nightmare. It included ghost like zombies, they were pretty in fact almost ethereal but nonetheless zombies and they didn’t bite you to turn you into one… No! These evil crazy things just had to touch you! I woke up at the point where one was a cat with white eyes staring at me! I woke up and freaked because my bad, black puddy cat was standing staring at me in the dark! Seriously?! I told myself to calm down think of happy things and go back to sleep. I did but I ended up back in the same bloody dream again! This happened all night, needless to say I was exhausted on Wednesday and dragged myself around all day thinking about how I had “Stuff” to do still. Today I woke up more refreshed and did no work, no writing until now with this post and a little catch up on Facebook. I think the nightmares were a way of telling me to slow down a little… Simple. Yes I do like that word a lot lately. It seems to help keep everything on track and … Well… Simple!

I sometimes tell myself I must be crazy but the support I’m getting is amazing and uplifting and at the end of the day it really is all about spreading the word about violence and abuse, assault and rape. Letting people know they are not alone, that it effects everyone, black, white, straight, gay, women, men and children. Violence doesn’t discriminate but we can heal. We can transform and  become amazing!

In fact I’ve already started creating some cool things in my CafePress shop! Please check them out and let me know what you think. Just click on the picture below. Thank you for all your support and I hope your having an amazing week!

Transformation from Abuse

The reveal! Transformation from Abuse

I just wanted to share with you the new logo for the concert and show I am putting together.

It wouldn’t be so amazing if I hadn’t had the wonderful help from an amazing artist, Susan Cooper of Finding Our Way Now. Her artwork is one of a kind and will be applauding her everywhere I go and raising a glass of vino to her! Susan… Salute!!!

I chose a scarab beetle because it represents transformations (i.e. Healing from Abuse) and the Egyptians believed it was the ‘Protector of the written word’ and purple is the color of the Domestic Violence Ribbon.

It’s going to be on T-Shirts, caps and banners etc!!

So here it is… The big reveal! Ta-Dah!

I hope you love it too!!!

Related articles

• Transformation from Abuse.. My new online show! (clairecappetta.wordpress.com)
• Author Interview with Susan Cooper and D.R.E.A.M. Catchers (clairecappetta.wordpress.com)

A Broken Ring and Stalking Liberty ~ Here we go!

 Hurricane Sandy really messed it up for me last time so here I am having another ‘bash’ at Indiegogo! Even though my handheld video camera died and my webcam bites! lol I ran one before but was hit by Hurricane Sandy and it was difficult to run it with no power. So here we go! This below is my plea for help in crowdfunding

“I’m a great believer in helping people and empowering them in understanding. 1 in 3 women are either beaten or raped a year across the world. That’s 1 BILLION and that’s 1 BILLION too many! 1in 5 men are beaten and raped too!

Think about it for a minute when you see people in the stores or down your road. It’s happening near you. It could have already happened to you, a friend… a work colleague…

I wrote A Broken Ring as a healing tool which has gone on to be published late last September and by October the word about it was spreading but then we were hit hard by Hurricane Sandy which halted everything.

A little difficult to storm ahead with no power after a flood! But I’m back up and running. I need people like you to help me, to come on this journey of love and inspiration with me!

Advocacy groups who have read A Broken Ring have used the word “Inspiring” too me but my main goal is to let people know they are NOT alone. That we are there to say ‘We understand!”

 My sequel in the Ride to Liberty is also finished, Stalking Liberty. Each book ends with a wonderfully empowering message.

 A teaser… Click here for the first chapter of A Broken Ring!

Lets stand up together

Shout out

We are not alone!

We shine bright!

 What We Need & What You Get

Breaking it down:

• A Broken Ring is getting rave reviews but I need to hire a publict to spread the word which will cost me $4,000 to get started and the final draft of Stalking Liberty needs a professional editor which costs $1,000
• There are some really cool perks too!
• Signed copies of A Broken Ring.
• Skype call.
• Being listed in the Contributors page.
• A character named after you in the last installment of the trilogy… don’t worry the character will be a ‘Goodie’ not a “Baddie”!
• If the goal amount is not reached I will beg, steal and borrow until it’s reached because it’s just too important to help people!

The Impact

• Together we can raise awareness for both women and men who need help.
• We can help people who feel alone and isolated, knowing there are others out there who experienced similar circumstances and found freedom through healing and self renewal and empowerment.
• It is already in the libraries of Healing groups and Domestic Violence Shelters for example: Hope Healing House in Grove City, Ohio and the New York Suffolk County Coalition of Domestic Violence.
• There are whispers in the ether of a 40 city book tour on college campuses in April to raise awareness amongst the youth and a made for television movie from A Broken Ring!

Other Ways You Can Help

Some people just can’t contribute, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help:

I understand times are tight financially for some people but it would really help if you could spread the word and share it with friends and family.

Please share on Facebook, Twitter, Google+… Pigeonagram!

And that’s all there is to it. Thank you for taking this journey with me!”

A Broken Ring and Stalking Liberty’s Indiegogo Campaign

Related articles

• Wichita Women’s Shelter Sees Rise In Domestic Violence Victims (kake.com)
• Anti-stalking advocates seek tougher laws in Wyoming (billingsgazette.com)
• National Stalking Awareness Month 2013 (nichellemitchem.typepad.com)
• The Violence Against Women Act: Get It Done Congress (theobamacrat.com)

Could you forgive and forget?

We all have challenges to face in life. Some are wonderful ones that we keep as long treasured memories, others are stressful and I consider these challenges as ‘Learning Curves” to try and better understand people around us.

I have written in the past about domestic abuse. That this effects not only women but men too. I wrote about this as: Abused men When relationships turn bad. I wrote that post because I was thinking about my husband. In some of the posts I have shown us having fun at events or the Christmas in New York. I have even added some of his poetry, which many of you have loved and which he’s trying to turn into songs, putting music to them with his guitar. He turned to poetry and music to vent his past. He was in a 25 year abusive marriage. His wife is addicted to pain medications and alcohol. I say is because sadly she has been in and out of Detox facilities and Rehabs over the last ten years, never completing a rehab because she always had an enabling boyfriend, her relationship was a long one, roughly… 18 years by our calculations. My husband finally left 10 years ago, after pleading with her to stop seeing this man… but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to leave her boyfriend but yet she didn’t want my husband to leave either.

Through the alcohol she became violent, very violent. He stills bears the scars where she scratched his face and drew blood. He still bears the emotional scars of her threatening him with a kitchen knife. For him and his children it was a terrible time and when my husband left the home, under the advice of Police, she couldn’t cope. His eldest move out and a year later he gained custody of his youngest. His wife went to live with her boyfriend.

Why am I posting about this today? Simple. Because last week after years of chemotherapy her boyfriend was taken into a hospice. The result of this was his ex-wife tried to commit suicide… again. The second attempt this year. Why? Because she has difficulty facing the future on her own. You see, all the partying, the alcohol etc has had one big side effect – Schizophrenia. She was diagnosed with this 10 years ago and has been on disability because of it since.

People tend to think of the side effects of being an alcoholic is kidney and liver failure – true. Also damage to the brain – true but combine this with other concoctions and you get Schizophrenia.

It is so sad to think that once a while ago this was a vibrant woman and not the one we see now. One we see suffering from auditory hallucinations, paranoid or delusional, disorganized speech and thinking. This illness also brings with it major depression and anxiety disorders. She will hear people not there talking to her. There will be moments where she ‘opts’ out of the current situation and don’t get me wrong this is not like PTSD where the mind crashes but we are fully aware of where we are, we just can’t get the thought processes up and running for a second, like a 2 second computer crash but we are here, no it’s not like that, this for her is a sudden total shut down, like she is asleep, then suddenly she comes back to life. Her speech is mumbled and at times incoherent, sometimes joining in conversations with the family, the next with herself. To make matters worse for her it comes with short term memory loss too.

When I researched it, to try and understand why she does the seemingly crazy things she does it started to become clear. It isn’t but it’s almost akin to Alzheimer’s, but sadly schizophrenics are depressed, very depressed and suicide is usually successful for them. It was for my husbands ex-wife last week but she was in the hospital, in ER and they brought her back. Now people who are supporting her are hoping and praying that she will enter a long rehab facility, at least two years, to become dry, to try and become a functioning member of society who can finally understand herself.

Usually family and friends desert schizophrenics because they lose patience with them, get angry at them. This leads to many homeless and living on the streets. His ex-wife’s family has deserted her… The only people who haven’t are a couple of her friends, her children and my husband… Let me repeat that last little bit for you, my husband. Even though he has scars from her, memories of her trying to drive them both off a bridge after a hospital visit, the beatings he took, the verbal and mental abuse over the years.

Trust me… He doesn’t forgive nor does he forget but if you needed one man to be there for you in the worst of times as well as the best, he’s there. A true and loyal friend, even when you’re an abusive ex-wife.

Do you think you could support someone like this? Could you? Think about it… Someone who physically tortured, beat and mentally abused you? I’m not sure I could to be honest with mine or maybe I would, because her situation is different to my abusers. I know neither of us hold any ‘ill will’ to her.

If I met my abusers I would still like to poke their eyes out with a wet ferret… Sorry that’s an old Yorkshire saying -  “It’s better than a poke in the eye with a wet ferret!” Seriously… would you want to tackle a wet ferret? No… You wouldn’t…!

Related articles

• Coping With Schizophrenic Hallucinations and Delusions (everydayhealth.com)
• Schizophrenia Myths and Facts (everydayhealth.com)
• Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse (everydayhealth.com)
• Auditory Hallucinations: A Demonstration (saintleoinkblot.com)
• When Schizophrenics Don’t Recognize Their Illness (everydayhealth.com)
• Treating Depression and Alcoholism in Alcohol Rehab (casapalmera.com)
• Can Drug Use Cause Schizophrenia? (everydayhealth.com)
• We are the battered husbands (express.co.uk)

National Stalking Awarenes Month 2013 is here

January is Stalking Awareness Month 2013

Each month is dedicated to some cause now. For me October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, April is dedicated to National Assault Awareness Month, but this month it is National Stalking Awareness Month which impacts 1 in 6 women and 1-in 19 men.

That’s a lot of people here in the US!

Think about how many people you know friends, family, in the work place. At some point of them, maybe even you have been or will be effected by someone stalking them. Those are frightening figures.

A stalker is terrifying, you lose all sense of freedom when you are wondering if they are watching you and when.. Are they watching you when you have dinner with friends? Calling you constantly?Does your inbox constantly get bombarded with messages from them? Or Twitter, Facebook… Any social media? Are they watching you while you go about your daily life in your own safe home?

It usually starts with the phone calls. The endless calls, when the phone rings and you recognize the phone number.

How to recognize a stalker:

• You go to your local stores and they ‘accidentally’ run into you and try to start conversation.
• You are driving and you look in the rear mirror, only to see that they are two cars behind you.
• It is late at night, you look out of your window and their car is down the road parked, engine and lights off, in total darkness.
• They call at your house wanting to talk to you, to reconcile the relationship.
• You find messages, emails, letters, gifts and small packages left for you.
• They start to threaten you and your loved ones.

It makes you feel vulnerable, stressed, fearful and threatened. Your privacy is gone and you have a stalker.

Stalkers have different psyches. It can be the jilted lover, husband or wife. It can be a co-worker, an admirer or friend, a social media ‘friend’. They come from all occupations and lifestyles.

What to do if you have a stalker:

• Make sure safety is paramount in your home, check the locks on all doors and window locks work etc. and the phone cable outside is out of reach.
• Rally your friends, family and co-workers for help and support.
• Keep a journal of all the events
• Get an additional phone number and keep it private. You must keep the old number and let it go to voice-mail, do not answer it or engage in conversation at all.
• If it is an ex-lover, calmly and politely tell them you are not interested. Do not get angry or shout this can acerbate the situation.
• Inform the police. Every state has Stalking Laws; I know the UK calls them Harassment Laws, this I know as the police told me I would be one of the first to use it when it passed in June 1997. (It worked too; my stalker was found guilty and now has a criminal record)
• Find a network or group in your area to help you.
• One of the first options you will be given is an Order of Protection, or a Restraining Order. This can work, but it can also push them over the edge to be violent or make them more determined.
• Always before starting a relationship, trust your instincts, if they say run, then run. Never communicate, talk or respond to a stalker. They can become violent and murderous.

I list all the above to help people understand what it means. The word ‘Stalker’ is banded around as a flippant joke, but when it happens to you, it is debilitating and frightening, even those of us who know we are strong and tough!

When it happened to me, I took all the advice I could and when it didn’t stop, I was strongly advised by the police that I sell my home and move away, far away…350 miles difference in fact (Which in the UK is regarded as far!). When a police officer tells you he believes your stalker has murderous intent, you tend to make plans to move quickly! It didn’t stop until after the court case. I still received phone calls at my new place of work, but when the Magistrates Court declared him guilty and threatened him with imprisonment. It stopped.

 

If you have a stalker please don’t think you can handle it all by yourself. Get help! There are people out there dedicated to helping you. You do not have to go through it on your own, terrified. Know you are not alone!

As the National Stalking Organization says:

Stalking: Know it, Name it, stop it!

www.rainn.org

www.safehorizon.org

www.ncvc.org

www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/12/31/presidential-proclamation-national-stalking-awareness-month-2013

Related articles

• Stalkers find friend in GPS technology (kansascity.com)
• Local counseling center works to shed light on stalking during national awareness month (ktbs.com)
• New Law To Tackle Stalkers Comes Into Effect (news.sky.com)
• Scotland’s oldest sex stalker confesses to preying on second elderly victim (dailyrecord.co.uk)
• Stalkers face five years in jail to curb risk of them turning violent (thetimes.co.uk)
• Do the new stalking laws show we are taking this crime seriously? (guardian.co.uk)
• Stalking Bloggers in 2013 (breezybooksblog.wordpress.com)
• #India -The Bitter Truth Regarding Delhi Police’s Womens’ Help-Line #Vaw #Justice (kractivist.wordpress.com)

A Big Thank You to Everyone!

A big thank you to everyone who joined in with the free New Years give away for A Broken Ring on Kindle and making it the wonderful success it became!

When I started it I thought to myself that maybe just a couple of people might be interested but that it would be a perfect way to say thank you for all the support you have given me since I started this writing journey, which I have to say has become amazing. Since I began this I have met the most wonderful people who have become sincere, honest and beautiful friends who I have laughed with and shared the most darkest and brutal secrets with about life.

Over the year we have shared journeys of people becoming sick and recovering. Of those close who passed away into the light. I have felt been honored as people shared road trips, births, launched their own books. We have laughed and cried, sharing this most incredible journey we call ‘life’

Thank you for sharing with me. The Kindle giveaway was my way of “Paying it Forward’… hmm or ‘Back’ (giggles). It reached a #45 ranking on Amazon in Relationships and Families!

So hurray to you all!

Here’s a virtual glass of champagne as I toast you and wish you the very best in 2013!

Cheers!
http://www.photopin.com

 

Related articles

• My New Year gift to you! A free Kindle Edition of A Broken Ring (clairecappetta.wordpress.com)

Healing ghosts of Christmas past

Scrooge’s third visitor, from Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas. With Illustrations by John Leech. London: Chapman & Hall, 1843. First edition. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I decided to take some time off over Christmas, to step back from my computer.  It was starting to feel a little like ‘Not seeing the woods for the trees” Sometimes in life I can get so emerged into work and tunneled visioned that I can start to feel a little overwhelmed and wonder where my next steps should be.

Just before Christmas I closed up my laptop and tucked it away so I couldn’t see it beckoning me, I think I can get so wrapped up in my virtual world I need to re-connect with myself again, to focus on what’s important and the message I want to get out there.

I realize the bottom line and the most important one is wanting people to know they are not alone when they are going or have been through abuse. I was told so many times that I was strange, not normal in my reactions. That I was a black sheep or better still needed to be put in a straight jacket and needed to be locked up with the key thrown away…

It still amazes me to this day how memories can be crystal clear and just flash into my mind out of the blue, ones I thought I had filed away under “Healed” only to discover I had filed them away under the wrong header and drawer of my mind.

To be really honest with you… I don’t like Christmas much. It creeps up on me every year as a dark monster… Lurking in the corners waiting to be released. The sense of dread starts at the beginning of December knowing the usual feelings of guilt and shame will wash over me like a tsunami. The memories taunt me, tower over me like a cold, scolding and unforgiving mother.

I long for January each year, to get past certain calendar dates, which once past I will be released into a newly born, fresh year filled with optimism and hope. Every year I tell myself next Christmas will be better… different.

Please don’t get me wrong! I’m not looking for “The Perfect Christmas” I don’t think anyone really has found that little animal yet, I believe those are made up of wonderful mistakes and comedies of errors to be thought back on down the road with laughter and conversations always starting with “Do you remember whens…?” Those are to be treasured. I’m talking about the life threatening, the verbal abuse that shanks like a sharpened knife in to your heart, the dread of hearing a doorbell ring and knowing you either can’t or don’t want to answer because you know what awaits behind it.

Every year people feel lost and lonely at Christmas, even those surrounded with rooms full of family and friends. Please spare a thought for those who are entering a Domestic Violence Shelter for the first time, terrified. Those who remain in violent situations, trying to smile to friends and family hoping the illusion of a perfect family won’t come crumbling down.

Just before Christmas I was offered an immense wealth of opportunities with my book for the coming year, some of which are incredibly amazing! On the call I had I was elated and excited, after it sunk in I was feeling overwhelmed. Now after taking a week off and giving myself time to digest everything I now feel in control and realize I have the power to choose and control everything that is offered my way.

My Christmas tsunami is receding back once again and I am looking forward to a

New Year earlier then usual. It is becoming a welcoming lighthouse in the distant, growing ever nearer. The beacon of light, beckoning me out of the fog.

I am working hard on the sequel to A Broken Ring. It is difficult at times reliving the past but I know once it is done I will feel a little more empowered and I might finally be able to put away my own ghosts of Christmas past!

Do you feel lonely at Christmas? Do you still have memories that haunt you each year? Do you feel you struggle through it with a fake smile?

Know you are not alone and that someone is right there with you!

If you need help please contact these organizations who are there 24/7 to help you

www.rainn.org

www.ncvc.org

www.safehorizon.org

Related articles

• Home for Christmas (carriecraig.wordpress.com)
• Jennifer Ball: I’m A Divorced Mom, And I’m Taking Christmas Back, Dammit (huffingtonpost.com)
• The Hidden Meaning of Christmas (susanpearson.me)
• So that was christmas? (keepbeingstrong.wordpress.com)

For a limited time only… A Christmas Special!!

For a limited time only… A Christmas Special!!

Buy A Broken Ring on Kindle for $2.99 for Christmas

Please feel free to share everywhere

Love n hugs ♥

www.amazon.com/abroken ring

It has been submitted into the library of Suffolk County Coalition Against Domestic Violence,

SCCADV is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing safety and support services to victims of Domestic Violence in Suffolk County, Long Island , New York.

http://www.sccadv.org

Also with Audry Hardy at Grove City Purple Purse Advocacy Gathering

http://clairecappetta.wordpress.com/2012/11/12/a-huge-thank-you-to-audry-hardy-of-grove-city-purple-purse-advocacy-gathering/

Cyber Monday needs A Broken Ring Perk vote!

A Broken Ring Indiegogo Campaign

Indiegogo is holding a competition for CyberMonday!

PRIZES FOR CAMPAIGN OWNERS

First Prize ⇒ $500 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Second Prize ⇒ $300 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Third Prize ⇒ $200 contribution to your Indiegogo campaign
Fourth through Eighth ⇒ Indiegogo prize bags (branded tote bag with a water bottle, notebook, pen and sticker)

PRIZES FOR VOTERS

5 randomly selected voters will get Indiegogo prize bags that include an Indiegogo tote bag with an Indiegogo water bottle, notebook, pen and sticker

Please click a vote for me, the most votes win!
Please share with as many people as you can!
Thank you so much, hugs xox

Please click the link here and click :Vote”! Indiegogo Competition

Thank you so much for voting! <3

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• Let’s Cyber: Tips for Increasing Cyber Monday Sales (scottsmarketplace.com)
• Awesome! Indiegogo campaign is LIVE! (brianholler.wordpress.com)

Goodreads winners will get their book in time! Phew!

courtesy of http://www.pinterest.com

I had a batch of A Broken Ring books delivered before the storm…

Sadly Sandy destroyed them all…

I had to re-order them all over again, they finally arrived and I sent out the copies to the Goodreads Giveaway winners yesterday!
Managed to do it all in the Goodreads time frame they gave me! Phew!

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• The Goodreads Giveaway fro A Broken Ring (clairecappetta.wordpress.com)