Stalking Awareness Month 2015

I wanted to say a big thank you for all the support you have given to my work over the last year. It has meant so much and I know this coming year is going to be phenomenal!

I did put out a newsletter is only going out to a few selected people because I wanted to “Give back” but in the end I thought “What he heck!”, let’s really spread awareness!

In the spirit of raising Stalking Awareness in January, I have created a Coupon Code for you on Smashwords for a free Ebook copy of Stalking Liberty, available for all Ereaders, Tablets, iPads etc
To get your free copy of Stalking Liberty enter
Coupon Code: DH26V
at checkout on Smashwords/Stalking Liberty

If you love, enjoy or hate it please let me know and I’ll never turn down a review (giggles)

Stalking Liberty Jan

What to know, do and say to stay safe by Dennis Golden and Jennifer Lownik

What to know, do and say to be safe

What to know, do and say to be safe

I was incredibly fortunate and lucky when I first released my book, A Broken Ring. It was my very first venture into publishing a book and at telling my story of survival from abuse. Why was i lucky? Because Dennis Golden of IM-Safe organization was kind enough to give me a review and endorsement for the back cover. I was ecstatic when he sent it to me!  I was so happy, I wrote:

Breaking news!! IM-Safe with my book, A Broken Ring

Dennis and I have kept in touch since. I was thrilled to discover this last summer he was publishing his book, What to know, do and say to stay safe, with Jennifer Lownik, his daughter. He very kindly sent a signed copy to me, which I received this week.

It’s an amazing book!! It really is a “must read!” It covers so many topics to help keep you safe either from a stalker, tips to help in a domestic violent situation, traveling! They give good examples of what to do to keep yourself safe. It’s not really a “How to” book in a sense, it’s more like conversation.

Dennis and Jennifer describe the book perfectly on it’s Amazon page

“Every Woman Needs This Book

While an attack by a total stranger is what women dread, national statistics show the likelihood of such an event is less than10%. The good news … an assault of this type, is the easiest to avoid. The larger concern is that women routinely and unknowingly ignore 90% of threats that surround them daily in work, at play and in life.

In the real world, you are more likely to be stalked by a former partner, become a victim of workplace or domestic violence, or be victimized while traveling far more often than being assaulted by a stranger. Statistics also show that 90% of the time you will be targeted, by someone you know and you will be in location you believe is safe.

What To Know Do And Say To Be Safe, A Woman’s Guide To Personal Safety finally separates the facts from fiction. It fills an important gap by offering real insight on how you as a woman can live safely in a world that is becoming increasingly hostile to your personal safety and security.

This long overdue book gives you immediate access some of the best self-protection tools and strategies the world has ever known. Here you will learn:

• How to safely navigate in a world that is becoming increasingly more hostile to your personal safety and security.

• Ways you can be “armed” with a mental weapon that can never be taken away from you.

• What self-defense “experts” often fail to tell women about real world physical encounters.

• The secrets on knowing how to quickly deescalate any verbal attack at home, at work, anywhere.

• The powerful natural advantages women have when dealing with abusive partners, bullies or predators.

Order you copy today and discover why no woman deserves to live in fear … not from bullies …not from intimate partners … not from strangers.”

If you are thinking of buying a book, buy this!

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The most important thing in life is to be happy

We can all get overwhelmed sometimes, life can be overwhelming! A lot has happened to me in the last year with moving, my step-daughter moved out and now we are hoping to be able to plan our next move in 2015, back to the UK. Simple, right? Well, I have two books to finish, an upcoming webinar with amazing guests like Simply Mary, Kimberly Steinmetz, Julie Buhite, Kit Gruelle of the documentary, Private Violence which aired on HBO in October. I was also going to organize a Stalking Awareness Event in January 2015.

I also, dipped my big toe back into the financial world, so currency contracts and bonds were back on the table! Does it make me happy? Yes, I always like to be busy but I have learned a lot over the last few years and it’s really very simple. I ask myself this: Am I loved and does someone care for if I’m around? Do I have a roof over my head tonight? Am I safe? Am I warm and have I eaten? Do I have a bed to sleep in?. The answer has been: Yes. My basic needs and wishes are met. This makes me happy! Of course, I strive for more, it’s natural but I count my blessings that I am loved, safe, warm and not hungry.

We work so incredibly hard for the “bigger house” to “keep up with the Jones’s”, the new car, that we become stressed, anxiety takes over, nights become sleepless. There are many people out there with far less, and are happy. Sometimes, when things are stripped down in our lives we have to take a breath, re-evaluate and move on. Sometimes, the less “things” we have, the less clutter we hold so desperately onto can cause us stress, just like relationships.

At the end of each day, we should ask ourselves if we are happy….

Happy?

Happy?

Trust yourself! Trust your instincts…

Sometimes, we second guess our decisions, when our heart tells us one thing but our head says something completely different.

We feel torn especially when we are in bad, destructive relationships. We tell ourselves to run, but we stay. We know from the first meeting that the person is too charming, nice or just wrong. How many times have we fallen for the bad boy or the woman who is a “wild” and we think it’s exciting?

Trust yourself

Trust yourself

Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do! Have you ever gone against your instinct? How did it work out?

3 Reasons Why I Think Voting for UKIP in May is Ludicrius!

I don’t usually use the blog to rant and vent on politics but after the weekend, I’m still steaming.

After reading several posts and watching them in the news, I now give you 3 valid reason’s why voting for UKIP in insanity, racist, homophobic, sexist and dangerous!

1. I read in the news how Candidate Kerry Smith had been caught using racial and homophobic slurs.:

Ukip stands by candidate Kerry Smith after offensive comments

Kerry Smith had described gay people as “Fucking, disgusting old poofters” and referred to a Chinese lady as “Chinky”. Thankfully, we found out later that day that he had “Tendered his resignation”, Good! Kerry Smith it appears is both racist and homophobic!

2. You going to love this one… Guns. Yes, Nigel Farage feels the Brits should be able to be gun toting! He is calling for an end to the ban on guns. Seriously? Yes, guns have worked so well in the other country’s, especially on Domestic Violence issues! Can you detect my sarcasm there? If you have followed me about Domestic Violence/Abuse issues either here or on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin or my website, you know how strongly I feel. There is a social outcry in the countries against guns and to have them disciplined more with the licenses etc. You think it’s hogwash? Well here’s the link for you:

UKIP leader Nigel Farage calls for end to ban on guns – labelling law ”ludicrous”

3. The last one. Let’s cast our minds back to an election, not long ago when Barack Obama was running for his second and final term in the White House. Some Republican candidates stated how hey believed a woman couldn’t raped unless she wanted it, or, how a woman couldn’t get pregnant from being raped because her body won’t let it happen, unless she wanted it too… Yes, those of us with a higher IQ know different but it is frightening. However, Nigel Farage skips all this and states, very simply, that women are “worth less”…

Nigel Farage: Working women who take maternity leave are ‘worth less’ than men to city employers

There you go! I would love to hear your thoughts! Am I wrong? We are told UKIP is racist, homophobic, sexist and loves guns. Just how safe would you feel?

6 Tips on Spending the Best Christmas Day on Your Own

Christmas Love

Christmas Love

Christmas is fast coming upon us. One minute we are basking in summer sunshine, the next the temperature drops, sweaters are pulled out of closets and viola! Christmas is here! Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, then you are quickly dumping sweaters back into closets. Oh, the thought of warmer days!…

Christmas always brings back a lot of memories for me, some good, some bad and some downright ugly. There is one though, that spins around in my mind now each year. It is one of the Christmas’s I spent alone. There were no friends or family to visit and say hi too. They were all busy with their own families, after all we are told it is a time for sharing time, gifts and food.

My car that year was feeling rather unwell, I know it wasn’t going to a 400 mile trip, so I sent cards and presents and decided to hunker down for some “alone time”. I was nervous about, but I learned a lot from that day. I, also, planned. Yes’ I planned the day out ahead, putting the nerves to rest. After all I can do one important day alone, right? It turned out to be one the best!

If you are spending Christmas this year, don’t fret, you can make it an amazing day too! It can become healing, transforming, relaxing, uplifting and totally indulgently, yours.

Here’s my tips for an amazing soul filling, happy Christmas day:!

1. Plan it, seriously. This will be a day of “Me Time” Plan the food you want because you can go by your own rules! Turkey? Indulge a littleHam? Sure! But you can think outside the box without offending anyone. It is open and the ideas endless. Sushi? Lasagne? A frozen meal to make it easy, to just pop into the microwave or oven. A day to yourself means not spending hours slaving in the kitchen, unless you find cooking, relaxing or therapeutic, if so enjoy!

2. Take a stroll. Just because we are on our own doesn’t mean we can’t go out. I took a stroll down the harbor. I sat on a bench watched people hurriedly walk their dogs so they could get back to their families. They had after all, been told to hurry. I sat on a bench, and watched the boats bob up and down in the water, hearing their masts clang, as the wind that tugged at my coat and hat, tugged at them too. It was peaceful, I hadn’t seen the harbor so quiet, it felt like it was mine just for a short time.

3. Be self indulgent! Before the day arrives, treat yourself to something purely for yourself and your senses. I had bought

Time to relax

Time to relax

some luxurious bath salts and candles. I had prepared for my own at home spa. The ringer was turned off, candles lit, scrubs washes and oils filled my senses. It warmed and coddled me after my stroll, heaven!

4. Put some time aside to call, Skype, Hangout with those you want to wish a Happy Christmas too. Enjoy the family, friends you would like to be with but can’t be. Connect simply and enjoy the moments. After all none of us are total islands!

5. Buy yourself a gift, because you deserve it! I had bought myself a Martina Cole novel I had been excited to read and a cheap guitar, along with the book “Learn the Guitar for Dummies! I snuggled down on my sofa to be lost in Martina’s world of London, East End crime drama. I struggled and laughed as I learned some new basic keys on the guitar until my fingers felt a little sore. It felt strange to press on the strings and find a tune, but absolutely worth it.

6. Watch, the movie you have always wanted to watch but never had time, because of all the usual commitments our normal, daily lives hold for us.

When we are busy all year, our minds active, it can be difficult to unwind, to let our minds drift. To stop and breathe, simply for just one day with no commitments but to ourselves. It gives us a chance to really decide what we want for the new year ahead.  We can make each moment count, for it to be a blessing and to be our authentic selves.

What do you plan this Christmas? Do you have plans even just moments for self care?

Some decadent self indulgences?

Can you “See the Triumph”?

See the Triumph org

See the Triumph org

A couple of months back Christine Murray and I were communicating about Domestic Violence Awareness. She kindly asked me if I would like to contribute a post for See the Triumph organization, which helps raise awareness against violence and abuse. I leaped at the chance!

“The goals of See the Triumph are: (and I quote):

* To share empowering messages that people can overcome their abuse and create positive, nonviolent lives

* To describe strategies that have worked for other survivors to help them overcome their abuse and the stigma related to it

* To promote a new view of battering survivors that shows them as triumphant, courageous, and resourceful”

It was exciting to see the first post I wrote:

What Everyday advocacy Means to Me, in July

I have since had the opportunity to write two more, one for August and October’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

What If I Tell My Story and I’m Alive Today Because of My Friend.

If you are interested they are currently recruiting participants for a new study on immigrants’ perceptions of intimate partner violence, stigma, and culture. To learn more about this study, click here: http://www.seethetriumph.org/1/post/2013/11/new-study-on-immigrant-survivors-perceptions-of-intimate-partner-violence-stigma-and-culture.html

See the Triumph is the result of research studies with survivors of past abusive intimate relationships who have been out of any abusive situations for at least two years. These studies were conducted by Dr. Christine Murray at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro and Dr. Allison Crowe at East Carolina University.

If you are a survivor of domestic violence, why not hop on over to their website! You’ll be welcomed.

Please note: See the Triumph is not a crisis response resource. If you need immediate assistance for a crisis-related domestic violence situation, please contact your local authorities immediately. In the United States, you may call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/; 1−800−799−SAFE(7233), or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

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Raising awareness for Domestic Violence at the Babylon Fall Festival

I had an amazing time at the Babylon Fall Festival with a table outside Healthy Alternatives! It was a chilly and slightly breezy day, with everyone willing the sun to come out, which it did later in the day.

I got there early, grabbed the essential cup of coffee and set and everything up. It was so good to catch up with friends early on and slowly the village started to buzz with people. The smell of different hot foods started to waft around the street.

People were talking to me about my books, A Broken Ring and Stalking Liberty, sharing their own stories of healing and discovery. I was asked if I’d like to be a speaker at an event for teenagers, which of course I would love to! It would be an exciting opportunity to be able to educate teenagers on the dangers of Teen Violence and what to look for in an abusive relationship, as those of us who grew up in abusive family environment don’t always see or understand the red flags. It feel a blessing to be able to help young people to understand friendships are in fact a community, however small their circle is but a community of supporting each other through the bad times as well as the good. No-one needs a fair weather friend, in fact I wouldn’t be here to be able to advocate as I do if it wasn’t for a friend who helped save my life from a stalker.

Of course I took pictures to show you… Don’t I always? (giggles)

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I hope you had a great weekend!

What did you do?

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month = busy times with a smile!

Domestic Violence Awareness MonthThe last couple of months have been very busy, I used to be able to keep up with everything but lately sadly some things have slipped through the net, including this blog post.

I have however managed to send some posts to See the Triumph which I feel truly blessed to be a part of! My posts were the “What if I tell my story” and “What everyday advocacy means to me” . I’m excited as there is another post scheduled for Oct 23rd for Domestic Violence Awareness Month-Whoo!

See the Triumph 1

I have also been blessed to be part of Brett Scudder’s Radio show for September’s SISFI’s Suicide and Prevention NY Tour to talk about the Correlation between PTSD and Suicide. You can click on the picture if you would like to listen!

wp001abff5_06I was also a speaker for Theresa McIntosh at Barrier Free Living. It was a wonderful, empowering day, meeting some incredibly brave people who had survived Domestic Violence. It’s uplifting listening to survivors stories and poems. I even got a chance to meet Brett Scudder in person too! (Giggles). My speeches have changed to include how when we grow up in abusive homes we don’t see the red flags of an abusive relationship when we are older.

Me, Theresa and Brett <3

Me, Theresa and Brett <3

Yes, I was struggling in the picture trying to get down, nope I’m not on a seat, just trying to balance! haha! That’s why I’m silently looking Like, “Hurry up, I’m gonna fall over!”

My website’s (www.clairecappetta.com) had a whole new make-over too and I’m halfway through finishing Liberty Rings.

Hope you like the cover!

Liberty Rings

Liberty Rings

I’ve also been packing because, yes… We have to move again, fun huh?

Oh yes! Stalking Liberty has been getting some amazing reviews too!

Rosemary “Mamie” Adkins gave me a wonderful review too!
 
“Author Claire Cappetta has delivered to you a powerful tale which is indeed felt from the first page out to the ending while keeping your heart pounding. Her first hand knowledge of each fear, compassion and hair raising experience has not tainted her view on life but given her strength to empower you. Are you a victim or survivor? This is a must read for either so that if you are that victim, you will find the courage Claire has to move forward with your life and become a survivor. No one wants to be a victim but sometimes it feels safer than to survive. How do I know, I too am a Survivor. You will experience the life and choices this author made through her words while being entertained yet while you gasp at her trials of horror. If you are not either of these -survivor or victim, the sheer curiosity of what emotions are behind such a hideous experience will captivate your attention to the end.
 
Oh, don’t think for one moment this book is one you can guess what lies beyond each page-this author keeps you guessing-THE END, well, I leave this surprise for you but hang on as it is certainly not what you expect! Once you understand these emotions, maybe you too can reach out and help someone else as Claire has done with her book “Stalking Liberty”
Rosemary “Mamie” Adkins, Reflections of Mamie, A Story of Survival

A friend’s wife bought it. He wasn’t happy because apparently their friends always ask her for her opinion when they write something and she has been so scathing about their work they have lost friends! She is also a member of the American Screenwriter’s Guild and has worked for PBS in the past. None of this I knew until he apologized before she read it, asking if we could still be friends after! I told him of course we would still be friends!

This is her review:

“I just finished “Stalking.” I loved it, but was furious at the ending, and then I realized; it’s a trilogy….it’s not over for Lydia! Can’t wait to read Part Three. I wanted to scream at Lydia, telling her she has the power to make everything okay. Just be brave and listen to your own voice. I think you should get a literary agent, because you are that good. You are gifted, Claire, you should write, write, write and publish, publish, publish! I just loved the book and the heroine, Lydia!” 
Carol Senior
I was speechless!… And yes of course we are still friends! giggles!
So I think we are all caught up!
Oh yes, sorry I also have a table tomorrow at the Babylon Fall Festival again! Whoo! I’ve had a new banner made, ordered books, made purple ribbon brooches for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Seemed a better idea than the balloons which kept blowing every where the last time! Wow! Memories! That was the week before before we got swamped by Hurricane Sandy! (Shudders at that memory)
Purple Domestic Violence Ribbon. Giving them away free tomorrow at the Fall Festival :-)

Purple Domestic Violence Ribbon. Giving them away free tomorrow at the Fall Festival :-)

I promise to post some pictures of the Festival next week.!
So I hope your not to angry for me being a little quiet lately, you are always in my thoughts with love.  I hope you are having a lot of fun with pumpkins and looking forward to Halloween. Good times, huh?
What have you been up to lately? C’mon we need some happy, uplifting news or gossip… Don’t worry you can tell me. I can keep a secret! ;-)